Well hello. So nice to see you again, it has been quite some time. Yes, yes, a lot has been going on in my life. The death of my husband, a change in financial status, throw in some illness. I seemed to have also forgotten a bit how to pray. Definitely forgot where I put my computer, and even if I did find it, write something? Oh surely not. The words have all become jumbled and lost.
What am I wearing? You've heard of that new designer haven't you? Everyone who is anyone is wearing his clothes. What do you mean, the logo is wrong? The seams are poorly sewn? What are you implying? That I am wearing a knock off?
Ok, ok. You see with the change in my income, lots of lifestyle changes...more ramen, less beef. The $5 cosmetics instead of the status brand. Cutting this, canceling that. Wearing this makes me feel seen, makes me feel like somebody.
You think this makes me be seen in a poor light? It makes me look like an imposter? Instead of looking chic and attractive I look like an fraud? A wanna be? But I already feel like a nobody...this just put a little style on it. I thought...
You are saying that I should toss these 'rags'? Quit trying to be something that I am not?
Then what will I wear? Who will I be?
I should read Psalm 139:14? "I am fearfully and wonderfully made". That means that I was handcrafted, doesn't it? That I was personally designed by the Creator of the universe. Each aspect of me had great thought put into it. Gender, hair color, eye color. Every part of me unique. Just like a tailor would make a bespoke piece of clothing. Not made with a pre-existing pattern, not some standard size, cookie cutter pattern just altered to seem to fit me. And you say that is how God made me? Psalm 139:13, "You created my inmost being, You knit me together in my mother's womb".
God not only made me to order with His specifications, but He already had clothes picked out for me? Beautiful clothes that had incredible cost. An outfit bought with the blood of His Son. Isaiah 61:10 "For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels." I am dressed in clothes that not even the wealthiest person on earth could buy, wearing treasures that the most famed jeweler could not fabricate. If that is the case why have I been wearing these cheap knock-offs? I realize something now; cheaters, counterfeiters, copycat stealers, they don't copy what is garbage and unwanted. They copy what is precious and valuable. They try to imitate the best, the cream of the crop. Throw some sparkle at it, toss some glitter on it, maybe no one will notice the blemishes and imperfections.
I don't need a false logo. I am marked by God's signature. Ephesians 2:10, "For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do".
Unlike those cheap reproductions that lose their dazzle, misshapen and worthless, I will never be tossed aside. Hebrews 13:5, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Psalm 94:14, "The Lord will not reject his people; he will not abandon his special possession".
So my value comes not from the brand I wear, the style I choose. My shoes don't matter in the grand scheme of things. If my purse doesn't match. My importance, my significance comes from the One who created me. My meaning and purpose has been set by the blood of Jesus. I am not some cheap imitation that belongs in a landfill? I know I have heard this before. I think I remember this. It's coming back to me now. All the things I was taught. Even the things I heard in songs, 'I am precious in His sight...'. I shouldn't be living this way. Comparing myself to others, putting on attire that is garbage, refuse to be tossed away.
I am a child of God. Unique, beautiful, treasured.
Ephesians 4:22-24, "But that’s no life for you. You learned Christ! My assumption is that you have paid careful attention to him, been well instructed in the truth precisely as we have it in Jesus. Since, then, we do not have the excuse of ignorance, everything—and I do mean everything—connected with that old way of life has to go. It’s rotten through and through. Get rid of it! And then take on an entirely new way of life—a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you".
It was so good to see you again. To be seen. Seen as I truly am. His, and His alone. I need to go now; time to purge my closet.