I really can't think of anything to write about today.  I've been sitting here staring at the little blinking cursor for about half an hour.  Not a word, not a phrase pops into my mind.  Nope, nothing.  I have been in a lot of pain lately.  I need to have my gallbladder removed and have a kidney stone they say is too large to pass...so it's been a rough few weeks.  I have my consult for surgery coming up, so it's just wait and get through until then.  I have to confess I am a bit anxious, but hanging onto God's word to be anxious for nothing.  Not always doing so well with that.  I have been blessed with never having surgery before, so I don't know what to expect and the thought of being put under freaks me out.  I am sure it's better than the alternative, lol.  I guess my point is, in all things He is there with me.  I know that.  Lord, I believe, help my unbelief.  
He has never failed me before, I trust He never will.  He has given me strength to do the hard things.  He was with me when my marriage failed and He restored it to something better than it ever had been before.  He healed me from fibromyalgia.  He got us through times when we had no money, no food in the house, no prospect of anything better.  He was with me when I cared for my dad as he was dying.  He helped me care for my mom for almost three years after one stroke and then another, and lung cancer and a fall that broke her leg.  He is with me every day.  Days when I don't feel well.  Days when everything seems fine.  Days when traffic gets to me and days when there is a song in my heart.  He is always there.  Always.
Today's post is not deep and heavy, it is just a reaffirming of how great our God is.  How much He loves us, always.  How much He cares for our well being, for every little thing we are going through.  No matter how big or small, He carries us through it all.  He cares when you can't pay the light bill.  He cares when you stub your toe.  He cares when you are washing the dishes or going about your day at work.  He cares.  And if you ever feel like He doesn't, remember that He cared enough to send the very best.  No, not a Hallmark card...He sent His very own Son.  Knowing the beginning from the end, knowing you and me before we were even formed, knowing it all, He gave His Son.  Some days that is all I can hold on to.  And you know, that is enough.  I don't need Him to send miracles, signs and wonders...the greatest miracle is that I am His child.  The greatest sign was that of the cross that bought redemption for me.  The greatest wonder is that every day, day in and day out, He holds me in His hands.  He holds me when I am broken, He holds me when I am confident, He holds me when I am hurting, He holds me when I am well.  He holds me no matter what and He will never let me go.  That to me is so astonishing.  He will never leave me, nor forsake me, Hebrews 13:5.  Psalm 86:15, But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.  Zephaniah 3:17, The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.  For God so loved the world (you), that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life, John 3:16.  Romans 8:37-39,  No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
HE LOVES US.  Nothing and no one can take that away from us.  I want you to know that, even on days when you are down.  When you feel too exhausted to even lift your head, He is, according to Psalm 3:3, the lifter of your head.  He is your hope.  He is your joy on days when all you have is tears.  He is that whisper in your soul when you feel unloved and forgotten.  He is that embrace when you feel alone.  He is your strength when you feel all strength is gone.  He is your song when you can no longer hear the music.  He is your all in all.
Even on days when you don't know up from down.  When all seems hopeless and you can't seem to find your way.  During those times when you have no words...He has already heard.  He already knows.  He is already with you.  You see, you don't need all the answers.  He is the answer.  He always is and He always was.  When I don't know how to put it into words, all I have to do is go back to what I do know.  Jesus loves me, this I know, for the bible tells me so.  It is written, it is done.

I'm sure you've seen it happen.  It's sunny out, and then a few clouds start to roll in.  Then it gets darker and more foreboding.  The blue sky seems to disappear and all that you can see are black clouds, no light anywhere.  If you didn't know better you would think those storm clouds were infinite, swallowing up the sky, the sun, everything.  Darkness all around, the heavens seemingly shrouded in graveclothes.  
Can you imagine what our more superstitious ancestors thought?  Was their home going to be swallowed up?  They looked for portents in the sky and how menacing it must have seemed; how they must have collectively sighed with relief when the clouds cleared away and they could see the world around them again.  The sky had not disappeared, life as they knew it was not over.  We know now that clouds are formed from water droplets and ice crystals, but back then what they must have thought!
How often are we going about life, not a seeming care in the world and then the clouds start to form.  Eh, I can handle that.  They are just blocking the sun a bit.  Wait, it is getting so dark, the heavens seem to be collapsing in around me.  It is black as night, I cannot see light anywhere.  My life as I know it is over.  What's happened?  There is no sun, there is no light, there is no hope.
Sickness, loss of a loved one, financial ruin.  Any or all of those and so much more can bring storm clouds into our lives.  One day everything seems fine and then the next we are hit by a two by four alongside the head.  We feel hopeless, distraught, blindsided.  But just as we know that not only do storm clouds pass, we know that even when we are socked in, the sun is still above the clouds.  And we as Christians know that the Son is above all.  The grave, like those clouds brought blackness and death.  But the Lord overcame death and the grave and rose again.  I think of the account of His death.  When he said it is finished and darkness came over the earth mid-day.  No clouds rolling in, just black as night.  How horrible that must have been.  The oppression, the weight of it all.  Feeling like a gravestone crushing down on your chest.  No air, no light, no hope.  The fear, tangible and grievous.  The world is ending.  Darkness when it is not night.  
But just as storm clouds pass, just as the sun comes out again, the Son rose.  He shattered the darkness.  He decimated death.  He overcame it all.  
Why did He do that?  Oh, my dear friend, He did it for you.  He did it for me.  He did it because the Father who created us loves us so much.  The bible says He went as a lamb to the slaughter.  But oh that lamb became as the Passover for us, so that death would have no hold on us.  As we claim salvation as our own, as we surrender to His Lordship we receive life eternal.  Death and darkness no longer have any power over us.  
That is not to say that storms won't come.  That is not to say that hardships and pain won't come into our lives.  But it is saying that we know that the Son is over and above all of those things, just as the sun is still out above the clouds during a thunder storm.  And there may be times when we feel as though we have been abandoned, but He has promised us that He will NEVER leave us, nor forsake us.  The winds may blow, the trees may break and our house be battered, but we will not be overcome.  When our hope is in Him, when we walk by faith and don't look at the darkness all around we can stand in peace when all else seems uncertain.  We can rest in the knowledge that His plans for us are for our good, that all we go through will in the end serve some higher purpose.  I am not some Pollyanna, playing the 'glad game', trying to find something to be happy about all the time.  I am a child of God who knows that her Father loves her, cares about every aspect of her life and will always hold her close.  The same Father who allowed His Son to take all of sin and death for me and for you will hold you in His hands no matter what you are going through.  Our job is not to struggle and strive and relentlessly work harder to overcome this problem, power through this issue; no our job per se is to rest in Him.  Our job is to trust His goodness.  Our job is to give Him praise in and through all things.  Our job is to let our hearts be at peace through it all.  How many times did God say 'fear not' in the bible?  Hey, He has it all under control.
So the sky may be dark, the clouds black as night.  The lightning may be flashing and the thunder may be ear shattering but remember who has you covered.  Instead of huddling inside in fear as the rain pours, put on your boots and go out and stomp in some puddles.  Dance in the rain and see what He does.
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There is always some new quiz or picture app that shows up on Facebook.  What's your personality type, can you spell these words only those with high IQ would know, which Hollywood movie should you star in.  All just goofy fun.  But there is a new one going around, 'Your face on a glamorous magazine cover'.  I wear makeup all the time, so I didn't think there would be much difference.  Holy cow, there certainly was.  But it wasn't just because they applied makeup.  They also smoothed wrinkles, thinned my face and who knows what else.  It looks great.  But it's not me at 55 years old.  Probably wasn't me at 25 years old!  So then you do this fun little thing and start to think, man I don't really look all that good.  I could look better if I got Botox.  I need lipo.  I need to change who I am so I will feel good about myself and others will find me attractive, acceptable, worthy.
Let me tell you, this is something I have dealt with my whole life. When I was young my mom had me in what they called a 'pixie' cut, everyone else just thought it was a nice boy's cut.  After ten I gained weight.  I could never shop for the cute school clothes; no, for me it was husky size.  And they were about as fashionable as that sounds.  I didn't really have friends, was overweight and awkward and didn't fit in anywhere.  I am so glad that I didn't have Facebook back then.  Well first I wouldn't have had any friends on it, but to go on and use an app like this glamour shot would have probably destroyed me.  I could never be that pretty, I could never feel like that picture looked.  
Being totally transparent, when I lost the weight and did start wearing makeup and learned how to dress better it kind of went to my head.  I finally had worth!  Well, at least worth for one night.  At least worth a few drinks and a good time.  So while the outside may have changed, the inside never did.  And to this day, I still have residual affects.  I don't go anywhere without makeup on and my hair done.  I always try to dress nice.  I put on my mask and costume and I can get through the day.  But I still get looked at funny.  Jim tells me that he sees women give me dirty looks all the time when we are out.  Like they think I think I am better than them, that I try too hard.  If only they could see in my heart.  If only they did not judge this book by it's cover.
I literally thank God that there is One who does not judge me by how I look.  Or even by how I feel I look.  There is One who looks on the inward parts.  The One who created me and designed me to be just who I am.  We all remember from Sunday school the story of David and Goliath.  This young man going up against a fierce giant and killing him with one stone.  This must have been a boy loved by all.  He must have been the life of the party, what today would be the captain of the football team.  The utter delight of his family.  Uh, no.  When God tells Samuel to go find a replacement for Saul he doesn't tell him who it will be.  He just tells him to go find Jesse, and then God will tell him which one to anoint.  So Samuel goes and see Jesse's son Eliab.  Oh, tall and strong and handsome. This must be the one!  Nope.  Ok, next...Abinadab.  No, not him either.  Seven of Jesse's sons pass by and He rejects them all.  Samuel asks, are these all your sons.  ​“There is still the youngest,” Jesse answered. “He is tending the sheep.”  So Samuel invites Jesse and his sons to the sacrifice, but they don't even bother to call for David.  He is totally left out, disregarded by all.  Wow.  "So he sent for him and had him brought in. He was glowing with health and had a fine appearance and handsome features."  So, it's not like David was the hunchback of Notre Dame, maybe covered with boils and bald to boot; his family just didn't think he was important.  But God did.
"Then the Lord said, 'Rise and anoint him; this is the one.'"  Wait a minute God.  Eliab was strong, all those other sons looked qualified...what's up with that?  "But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
​He looks at our heart.  He doesn't care if we are having a bad hair day, if we're in our grubbies and have a zit.  He looks at our heart.  Even better than that, when we have received Jesus as Lord and Saviour, He no longer even sees us, He sees His beloved Son.  The righteousness of Christ is imputed to us and we can stand as His adored children, the apple of His eye.  And then even better, we are given the gift of the Holy Spirit.  The Spirit leads and guides us.  He teaches us.  He gives us a heart that wants to do the Father's will, and then equips us to be able to do it.  
David had that heart for the Lord.  He was called a man after God's own heart, his name means 'beloved'.  You read about David and think this guy has it made, he can't fail.  But he not only goes through hardship, what with Saul trying to kill him, he also makes very bad decisions.  He out and out sins.  What is going on here?  God calls him the apple of His eye; did that apple go a bit rotten?  The thing about David, he was a man.  He made big mistakes, he sinned big.  But he also repented big.  He was filled with sorrow for hurting God's heart.  And God always forgave him.  You, beloved child of God will also make mistakes.  You also will sin.  But if you have a heart after God, you also will repent.  And you will be forgiven and restored.  You are loved by a great God.  And this God who takes your heart and gives it a makeover does not look at you when there are a few smudges and decide to throw you away.  He doesn't have regrets over giving His Son to die for you, He has no buyer's remorse for paying the ransom for your sin.  He takes the water of the word and washes you clean, white as snow it says in the bible.  And He sees you as the beautiful child that you are.  
You may feel rejected by others.  You may feel that you don't fit in, that you don't measure up.  "People most often measure themselves (and each other) by positive externals (performance, accomplishments, skills, position, training, wealth, fame, opportunities) while God measures by internals (intentions and movements of the heart towards God). Sometimes we look at ourselves (or others) through negative externals (our lack or gifting, spiritual achievement or lack of current opportunity or position of honor) and wrongly conclude that we have no future importance in God's purpose.  In choosing David, God revealed to us how He views and chooses His people" (1)
He chose you because He loves you.  His love is not fickle.  His love is not like so many; if you measure up, if you look good, if you perform correctly.  His love is unfailing, His love is everlasting, His love is abundant.  There is nothing you have to change, spiff up or gloss over.  You just have to open your heart to Him, after all that is what He is looking at.  And it is beautiful, just like you.

All scripture NIV
1. ​http://peoplegetready.org/intimacy-with-god/gods-call-david-related-heart-responses-1-sam-16713/