We drove to California this last week to attend the graduation of our granddaughter Maddy.  Our first grandchild to graduate from high school!  Our first thought upon getting to the school and sitting up in the bleachers was how many seats were out there on the field.  This was going to be a long ceremony.  We counted at least 400 chairs.  Turned out there were 417 high school graduates in attendance.  Surprisingly the ceremony only lasted about two hours.  They ran those graduates through like they were on a conveyor belt.  Amazing how fast it was; it went by in a blur.  
There were also two students who gave speeches.  They were both pretty generic speeches, but I do remember the one young lady talking about how they were all going to succeed and become someone great.  Doctors, scientists, writers, etc.  Oh what hope she had.  What confidence she had that they would all prosper; that they would all go on to become productive adults.
I remember when I was in high school.  For me it was just getting through each day as it came.  As the child of alcoholics I never really gave my future a thought.  I'm not even sure I considered that I might have a future, let alone a bright and shiny one.  In a business class I was in we had to team up to learn life skills.  Learn to balance a check book, how to handle a budget.  We had to say what we wanted to be when we were grown up, because that would be the example for the salary we would base it all on.  I couldn't think of anything, so I said corporate lawyer; that sounded impressive I thought.  If you know me at all you know that is something I would never be good at, let alone attempt.  High impact, dealing with people, stressful.  Nope, not me.  I just never thought past the day I was enduring.  I never saw a bright and shining future for myself.  I never had a plan.
So as I sat and listened to that young lady give her speech I had a tear in my eye.  For that 18 year old that I once was.  Who instead of learning job skills and how to succeed at life was learning how to be able to drink and party and hopefully still get up for work the next morning.  I was married before I even went through that graduation ceremony having left school after the first semester with all the credits that I needed.  I was out working already and hey getting married was a way out of my parents house.  I did love my first husband, as much as a broken damaged person can love anyone.  And I think he loved me,  but we were in a dead end town in a dead end relationship; nowhere to go but down.  And down we did.  Self destructive.  Mutually destructive.  At least he had the courage to walk out.  I kept continuing in that downward spiral of work, drink, party for another year or so.  No plan, no thought for the future.
But even though I had no strategy, no agenda someone else did.  Someone who had a plan for my future.  "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV)  There was this great big God who loved me before I even knew Him.  Yes I knew of Him, but there was no relationship.  I had no time for that kind of thing.  I was busy living my life; places to go, people to see.  Yet all the while, the whole time I was frittering my life away, this God had plans for me.  Plans for a man who would lead me to Him.  A man who would love me, cherish me.  Plans for children and step-children, for grandkids.  He saw my future when I all I saw was my painful past and a black hole in front of me.  He saw all I would go through.  He knew I would one day walk away from Him, but that His gracious love would draw me back.  He saw the loss of my parents, but He also saw that I would have the joy of caring for them and then seeing them enter into His presence.  He saw the hardships, the happiness, the pain and the pleasure.  He saw it all and took me by the hand and led me though it all, and continues to do so. 
Life is like that football field set up for the commencement ceremony.  All those chairs, all this time.  It seems that life will go by slowly, sometimes painfully slow.  Yet it all goes by in a blur.  One day you are 18, having air horns blown as they call your name, the next you are a 56 year old nana and more than half your life is over.  You see the thing is though, no matter what your plans or lack thereof; no matter if you are an incredible success or end up homeless on the street, God has a plan for you.  But just like in that graduation process,  where you have to walk up as they call your name and accept that diploma, you have to say yes to the Lord.  You have to say yes to His plan for you and for your life. 
While listening to the speeches given at Maddy's graduation, it was all sunshine and roses.  All glitter and unicorns.  We will be scientists, doctors and writers, etc.  Not we will have some drug addicts.  We will have some who go on to beat their wives and children.  We will have some who live in endless drudgery as trash collectors.  No thoughts for the downside to life.  A future so bright you gotta wear shades.  No losers, all summa cum laude.  And truthfully, in God's kingdom, in His plan for us, yes we are all summa cum laude.  Summa cum laude means with the highest honor, or with the highest praise.  In God's eyes, we are all summa cum laude.  Top of the heap.  Apple of His eye.  Cherry on top of the sundae.  However you want to look at it, we are His crowning glory.  As His children, it is like we are walking down that aisle going to collect that diploma.  The crowd is cheering, as the angels do when one sinner repents.  There is applause and your name is being shouted.  You cross that dais and your certificate is handed to you.  There is joy in the air and a feeling of anticipation.  You are now a graduate, and the tassel on your cap is moved from the right side to the left. The practice is a visual indication of the fact that the person can now claim title to the diploma he earned.  Then a member of the school board stands and authenticates that all the graduates have met the requirements for graduation and voila! your new life has begun!  So we as children of God also receive that certification, we are sealed by the blood of Jesus into a new kingdom.  We move that tassel indicating a change in our life, once a sinner, now a beloved child of God.  And suddenly we enter into a new life.  A commencement ceremony for us as we graduate from a life apart from God to a life as His own.  A commencement, a new beginning; a hope and a future.  A future so bright you gotta wear shades.

Blank screen, blank mind.  Ugh.  Cannot think of anything specific to write; a million thoughts running through my head.  Most days sitting down to write is as easy as writing that first sentence.  Some days like today I can't seem to find anything that gels.  I'm sitting here sipping my vinegar lemon water (the things we have to do to try to stay healthy!), listening to the dryer run and the wind chime making music in the breeze.  The birds are singing, there is the sound of children playing and all I can think of is how grateful I am. 
I was thinking last night that at 56 (gasp! how did that happen?) I am probably way over the half way point in my life.  I have beautiful kids that I am so blessed with.  Grand kids that make me smile every time I think of them.  A comfortable home (yes a bit messy at the moment, but I'll get around to that hopefully), a lovely yard and a heck of a fun car to drive.  We have a business that is a lot of work, but that is such a blessing.  We are reasonably healthy and in the process of trying to improve that. We live in a wonderful little community and an amazing country and we serve a great God.  All I can think of is how grateful I am. 
I look back at where I came from, and I am amazed.  The child of alcoholics.  Alone and emotionally abandoned much of my childhood and youth.  Then an alcoholic and drug user myself.  Seemingly adrift, no thought for the future.  Basically being seduced at age thirteen, then having an abortion at the same age.  Feeling worthless and valueless, giving myself away to whomever would have me.  Always thinking of myself as a piece of trash and then being treated like it.  Now what do I have?  A great God who loves me more than I could ever comprehend.  A wonderful husband who cherishes me.  Children who love me and grandchildren who I hope think their nana is pretty cool.  A stable home, filled with security and love.  A profession that allows us to see some of the most incredible cars around.  A ministry in our home group and for me, here writing this blog.  All I can think is how grateful I am.
Yes, the world is in turmoil.  Our country has leaders that are acting like spoiled brats because they don't like their President.  There are earthquakes, tornadoes, and volcanoes erupting.  There will always be something we disagree with.  People we don't get along with.  Troubles and trials and tribulations.  Homeless people and people who spend money on their every whim with no regard to others.  Those who are hungry and those who indulge every impulse and inclination.  But today I have a roof over my head, I have a cup of coffee here to drink, I have a healthy family.  All I can think of is how very grateful I am.
Yes, there is sickness and death.  There are outbreaks of seemingly never heard of diseases.  There are mass shootings inspired by an evil that is unimaginable.  But there are children also still being born every day, like Maverick yesterday. (Congrats Adam and Stephanie!)  And there is new life available to all who will but ask, through the blood of Jesus Christ.  There is hope and there is grace and there is love abounding in the presence of God.  And again, all I can say is how grateful I am.
Grateful that He created all this beauty for us.  Grateful that He thought of me before I was in my mother's belly; that He chose me before He ever even created everything else.  I am grateful even as my tongue sometimes complains.  As I complain about the price of gas, I am grateful I have a vehicle to drive.  As I complain about the traffic on my way to work, I am grateful for a job.  As I complain about the dishes and the dust, I am grateful for a home to live in.  Lord, help me always to flip the coin over and see the good in what I moan and bellyache about.  Let me have a heart of gratitude for all You are and all You have given me.  Let my heart be filled with joy and wonder rather than griping and grumbling.  Let me see You in all I do, all I have, all I am.

Sometimes I don't know how we did it.  I look back and think how amazing it is that we kept a roof over our heads and food in our bellies.  When my husband and I were younger we didn't make much money.  Sometimes the week was longer than the paycheck...Back in the day you could hope to finagle things when writing a check for a bill.  There was no electronic bill paying, or paying with a debit card.  It was cash, check or credit card.  And there were times when you would write a check and cross your fingers that it wouldn't clear before your next paycheck was deposited in the bank.  I got caught a couple of times trying that.  Of course there was overdraft protection.  Sounded so nice.  If that check goes through too early then they will cover it.  How nice!  Until those overdraft fees started adding up and then you could never get caught up.  I think today it is $35 for each instance.  Yikes. 
Sure would have been nice to have had a rich uncle leave me a fortune.  Some big inheritance deposited into my bank account.  Oooo-weee!  Wouldn't that be something!  Never have to budget again, never have to worry about the bills being paid.  Right, how does that work out for most people?  Just look at the history of most lottery winners.  They end up broke again faster than they can say 'quick pick'.  It is sad but we fallible humans tend to squander our resources and then wonder what in the world happened;  ending up worse than when we started.
Sometimes I look at how I tend to live frivolously; not so much financially but in other ways.  I forget to read the word as much as I should.  I don't pray as often as I know I ought to.  I certainly don't love others as freely as it says in the bible to; love your neighbor as yourself?  Yeah...no.  When I do some honest evaluating of my life, I sometimes wonder how God can still love me.  How He can look at me and see me as His child, beloved and cherished.  But then I have to remember that as His child, as one saved by the blood of Christ, He no longer sees me.  He sees Jesus.  When I sin, He sees it through the lens of Jesus' blood. 
When I fail He sees me with the never ending love of my heavenly Father.  When I have days where I fall off the wagon of human kindness, when I have epic fails and the devil throws every accusation at me that he can, God just says "Have you seen my Son?"  He no longer sees me, He sees His Son.  You have probably sometime in your life heard the phrase 'the Roman's road to salvation'.  It takes the book of Romans and shows the steps that it takes to become saved.  Starting in chapter 3 stating that we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.  Onto chapter 6 where we see that the price of sin is death.  Then chapter 5 states that God loved us even when we were sinners and then into chapter 10 where he says that if we will confess with our mouth and believe then we can be saved.  And again back in chapter 3:22 it then states, " the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe." (ESV)  We exchange our sin for Jesus' righteousness.  The twenty dollar word for that is 'imputed'.  The definition of that in a legal sense is this, 'to ascribe to or charge (a person) with an act or quality because of the conduct of another over whom one has control'.  Or in simple terms, because of Jesus' obedience to live a sinless life and then to die on the cross for us, His righteousness has been put to our account.  It is like that rich uncle I mentioned earlier, but vastly better.  This righteousness that has been put to my account can never be squandered.  I can never outspend it, I can never drain the account.  The only one who could do that won't because He is a good God.  He has placed a supernatural overdraft protection on that account and it will never run out. 
Let me tell you, there are days where I am just so grateful that His righteousness in me can never be frittered away, overdrawn or dissipated.  Does that mean that we can then just rest on our laurels and do nothing.  Or more accurately His laurels, as it is all His work and His grace.  No, we are to strive to live lives that honor His sacrifice and that will bring glory to His name.  We are to take that righteousness imputed to us and share its riches with others so that they might also taste and see that the Lord is good.  We are to live a life that reflects who Jesus is and let others see Him in us.  Our goal is to live a life that will cause others to see us no longer, but rather to see Him. 
Talking about banks and debit cards and overdraft protection, the big worry these days is identity theft.  I always used to joke, hey steal my identity, good luck with that.  I'm broke, not much you can take from me.  And try to open new accounts, ha that's a laugh.  My debt to income ratio is lopsided already.  Maybe you can steal my identity and leave me a better one.  You know what, I have already had my identity taken.  And it was replaced with a far better one.  My sinful life was exchanged for His righteousness.  My ignoble history was replaced with a regal heritage.  My pitiful reality was traded for a glorious future.  All of this because I said 'yes'.  Yes to Him.  Yes to my sins being forgiven.  Yes to a life of freedom.  Yes to everlasting life.  Yes to fellowship with Him.  I tell you, there are times when I write my blog and meditate on all that He has done for me and I cannot but cry.  I sit here with tears in my eyes so grateful for a new life.  So grateful for His love.  So thankful for forgiveness and mercy.  It feels better than winning the lottery.  It is like watching the "Price is right".  Do you want what's behind curtain 1, 2 or 3?  Wait, you get them all and behind curtain number 2 isn't a broken down wash tub.  Do you understand that?  In exchange for your 'nothing' you receive everything!  You enter a broken down beggar and leave with a purple robe, a crown and the keys to the kingdom.  You enter that bank hoping to open an account with pennies and learn that your Father owns the bank.  Oh my friend, stop living in penury, digging through the trash for crumbs.  If you call yourself a child of God, then live like His child.  Chosen, loved and privileged.

Lord, oh how Your garden grows
Lilies and dahlias, tulips and roses
Glorious colors, and scents to bring pleasure to our nose
But this a great dilemma it poses

Amidst all the glory, intertwined in that display
grows thorns and weeds, prickly and unkind
i wonder, do you use this as a means to convey
That in You, all things, everything is aligned

You knew us before we were a seed in the womb
Our mothers chosen, our history designed
You knew where we would grow and how we would bloom
This knowledge of Your will gives me great peace of mind

Just as in a garden, we people are so diverse
To some of us were given mothers, like daisies so sweet
To others, nettle and thistle, seemingly a curse
More akin to tares that the majestic wheat

But Lord you cultivated our life like a garden
You gave us the gift of our parents, our mother
Whether roses or dandelions, a gift not a burden
You handpicked our mother for us, not another

Be they beautiful and wise, or maybe melancholy
Mothers come in all shapes and sizes, some tomboy, some girly
Funny or strict, gloomy or jolly
Or possibly they might have left us too early

You the master gardener, knew what for us was best
While we may see the thistle, the nettle, the thorn
You saw what would mold us, and start us on our quest
From this mother you gave us to be born

My mother, so damaged, fragile and broken
Afraid of her role, hurting and uncertain
Yet in that frailty taught me, with words unspoken
To find the love of God; You pulled back the curtain

Others with a mother full of beauty and grace
Learned early of God's divine mercy and love
They glimpsed His affection by looking at her face
And then gave their hearts to their Savior above

So roses or brambles, lilies or thorns
They all have a beauty, a purpose, a gift
The rose to smell sweet, our lives to adorn
A dandelion, to blow upon, a wish set adrift

Lord, for our mother's we give you thanks and praise
We give them the honor that Your word commands
You knew our need, what would cause us to raise
Our thanks to You for our mom with uplifted hands

I envy those who can run with ease.  Since I was a teen I wanted to be able to run; it seems so freeing, so powerful.  I have tried.  I look as awkward as a hippopotamus in high heels.  I have no form, no grace, no endurance.  I knew people who ran in track; the 100 meter dash, 400 hundred meter relay, 800 meter run, and then those who did the hurdles!  How graceful they looked, it truly is poetry in motion seeing them fly over those frames.  I always ended up with shins that looked like they had been pounded with a meat tenderizer.  
In the bible it talks about running a race.  Hebrews 12:1-2a, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith". (ESV)  When a person goes into track, they know that they will have to train.  They will have to run, and then run more.  They will have to run until it feels like their heart will give out and then go out and do it again...and again.  And those that run the hurdles know that those hurdles are out there for them to jump over.  I am sure like me, the first few times they end up either bruised or on the ground wrapped up in that hurdle.  But with practice and endurance, they come to the point of being able to soar over them.  That is what they are training for.  But imagine if they go out to run that hurdle event and someone starts throwing water balloons at them.  And after the first hurdle, there is a mud hole.  And then some hurdles are standard height and then some are a foot taller, or two feet taller.  This race is no longer the standard hurdle run, it is now an obstacle course.  Or more accurately, it is like that show 'Wipeout' that used to be on tv.  The contestants had to run this ridiculous course that is filled with crazy challenges.  They never knew what was going to hit them.  They never knew what trial was ahead, what abuse was waiting for them.  I remember watching the show a few times with Jim and rarely did anyone complete the course.  Instead, most of what you saw were the contestants botching it, epic fails.  Wipeout!
So, here you are, running this race we call Christianity; it's all fun and games until things start getting thrown at you.  I was talking with a friend the other day.  Encouraging her to stay true to the course that the Lord has her on.  Affirming how far she has come and that the Lord is faithful to keep us on the path.  The next day she tells me of two things that happened, things that have thrown a curve ball at her.  That is when I had the thought of how our run is like that game 'Wipeout'.  We follow Jesus.  We begin to walk on the path He has set for us.  We are pumped for this race set before us.  And then the enemy starts to throw things at us.  Like it says in that verse in Hebrews 12, we have to set aside those things that weigh us down, the sin that seeks to entangle us.  We have to be like those athletes and train.  We have to train in hearing the Lord's voice.  We have to train in reading His word.  We have to become proficient in determining are we hearing the Spirit or is the enemy trying to deceive us.  We have to prepare like our lives depend on it.  Because our lives do depend on it.  Just as an athlete trains, not just to compete, but to win; we have to do the same.  "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run [their very best to win], but only one receives the prize? Run [your race] in such a way that you may seize the prize and make it yours!  Now every athlete who [goes into training and] competes in the games is disciplined and exercises self-control in all things. They do it to win a [b]crown that withers, but we [do it to receive] an imperishable [crown that cannot wither].  Therefore I do not run without a definite goal; I do not flail around like one beating the air [just shadow boxing].  But [like a boxer] I strictly discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached [the gospel] to others, I myself will not somehow be disqualified [as unfit for service]." 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, (AMP).  This verse is very clear.  We run to win;  we compete to attain the prize.  You don't see a prize fighter enter the ring and start to flail around, looking like a whirling dervish and hoping to win the title.  No, he goes in with intent and determination.  He bobs and weaves.  He learns different stances.  He knows which is his dominant hand and uses that to his advantage.  He has spent countless hours studying the art of boxing and also studying his opponent.  He does not go in unprepared and expecting to win.  And even with all the preparation, all the training and hard work, he comes out with some cuts and bruises; he is not unscathed.  But when that decision is handed down, the smile on his face and the arms raised in victory; all the pain, all the effort, all of it was worth it.  
In this Christian life, we are not promised days of wine and roses.  We are not promised that we won't be hurt, that we won't have scars.  But those scars are a sign of a life lived.  They are the mark of battle.  But over time, those wounds heal, the scars fade.  And we keep moving forward.  Philippians 3:13b-15a, "But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,  I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.  Let those of us who are mature think this way". (ESV)  Let those who are mature think this way.  Let those of us who have heard the voice of the Lord, who have seen Him at work in our lives, who have experienced His faithfulness, let us keep moving forward.  We are not to be like sulky children, not getting our way because the enemy has tried to discourage us, tried to deter us.  We are not to be thrown off course.  If anything, we become more determined, because if we have the enemy's attention, it is because we are on the right path.  If we are not a threat to him, he does not threaten us.  
Just like on the show 'Wipeout', we run for a prize.  They ran that obstacle course to win a grand prize of $50,000.  Now, you know that the producers are going to throw everything they can at them so that they don't have to pay out that money.  They want to make it as difficult as possible so that they will either give up or just give out.  And they know that all those fails make for great entertainment.  People don't tune in to see them fly through with ease.  That is our Christian walk, brothers and sisters.  The enemy knows the prize awaiting us.  He knows that an eternity with our Father and our Lord awaits those of us who persevere until the end.  And he does not want to see that payout.  So he throws everything he can at us.  Discouragement.  Temptations.  Accusations.  Harder and harder he tries to disqualify you.  But you, through the strength of Jesus and the power of the Spirit keep dodging them.  You bob and weave.  You jump over.  You keep on going.  And that makes for a great story.  Because even though you have bruises, you have scars, you are exhausted and your strength is waning; you can do all things through Him who strengthens you. Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things [which He has called me to do] through Him who strengthens and empowers me [to fulfill His purpose—I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency; I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses me with inner strength and confident peace.]" (AMP)  As you run that race with endurance, as you persevere throughout the trials and tribulations, as you keep going regardless of injuries or scars you are an example to others.  You are a testament to God's faithfulness, His unending love, His care for you.  You become not only a runner, you become an encourager to those who are running alongside you.  You become like that relay runner, passing that baton of faith and hope and courage to each other.  
​"This is the only race worth running. I’ve run hard right to the finish, believed all the way. All that’s left now is the shouting—God’s applause!" 2 Timothy 4:7 (MSG)  Keep running, keep fighting, keep enduring.  Dodge those attacks of the enemy.  Jump over the impediments he puts in your path.  Knock his lies out with a solid punch of the word.  Keep the faith, run the race and the only one who will wipeout will be the devil.  You will only hear the applause of heaven.  James 1:12 "Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him." (ESV)

​Photo By: Sgt. Jonathan G. Wright