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Free Gift with Purchase

6/29/2014

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Those are four of my favorite words in the English language.  As mentioned before in my post 'Just an old tube of toothpaste...', I love to get a bargain.  My husband knows, if we are in a store together, the first place he looks for me is in the clearance section.  BOGO, half price, coupon, store closing sale...words dear to my heart.  I have pretty much furnished my home with bargains.  Coupon sales at Hobby Lobby,   American Home Furnishings going out of business sale.  Construction Lots, where I got most of the components to renovate our beautiful bathroom.  I just can't help myself; I do love me a bargain!
I try so hard to extend my dollars in any way I can.  Even with 'free' money.  I got a gift card to Dillard's from my son, Andy.  $100!!  Wow.  So I went there a couple of weeks ago, on the prowl.  Hit the clearance racks first.  Nope. nada, nothing.  Then I went to the cosmetics section.  The section I think I have purchased from maybe three times in my life.  Looking for something I can't live without.  But what would be even better would be, drum roll please!  Free gift with purchase.  I love getting makeup.  Feel all girly and everything.  But at those prices, they had better include something spectacular!  Needless to say, I went home empty handed that day.  No clearance sales, no gift with purchase cosmetics.  Will wait for their seasonal clearance sales and try again!
Free gift with purchase sounds great doesn't it?  But what is even better is if someone makes the purchase for you...double the free gifts!! 
There is Someone in my life who did exactly that for me!  His name is Jesus.  He made the ultimate purchase for me.  He purchased my salvation on the cross.  He died an atrocious death to pay the price for my sins.  He willingly and freely placed Himself on that cross for me.  That is a purchase that at no matter how low a price I could never have paid for.  And I do not mean this lightly in any way, but what a bargain.  I get my old sin nature taken from me.  I receive grace and mercy, eternal life with my Heavenly Father and all I have to do is accept it!  Count me in.  And not just that purchase was handed to me.
I also received a free gift with purchase.  And that in itself is a vast understatement.  Gifts with purchase.  I received new mercies every morning.  I received a love that is incomparable.  I received the ultimate gift of the Holy Spirit; which entails many more gifts!  Like one of those matryoshka dolls, or Russian nesting dolls.  Open one up, and there is another inside; and another, and another.  God is like that.  He gives us the supreme gift of life and then just keeps stacking up more. 
He has given me gifts that bless me, that also make it possible for me to bless others.  The Gift that keeps on giving.  Without His Holy Spirit in my life, I rely on myself to get through the day.  Epic fail!  I can't get out the door without getting frantic over missing keys or glasses.   I can't get down the street without reacting to someone's bad driving.
  I can't bluff my way through this life with so-called good behavior, because I fail more often than not.  But with one of the free gifts of the Holy Spirit, what we call the fruit of the Holy Spirit, I am not relying on just myself to get me through the day.  Galations 5:22 lists this fruit as love, joy, peace, long-suffering (patience), gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance.  Imagine waking up every morning and making a conscious effort to 'open' this gift before starting the day.  What a better person we would be.  What a more true representative of Christ.  What a nicer way to go through the day, than by pulling yourself up by your own boot straps.  What greater satisfaction than being able to look in the mirror after the end of the day and saying I was a faithful ambassador for the Lord today.
There are so many more things that I could go into regarding His gifts.  Spiritual gifts such as prophecy and healing.  The gifts of the offices in the church; apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors and teachers.  Other gifts are those that benefit others in the body; helps, hospitality, administrations. 
I want to tie this all up with a scripture in 2 Timothy 1:7, "For He has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."  This verse tells us something that He did NOT give us.  Fear.  Fear is from the enemy of our soul and has no place in our lives.  1 John 4:18 says, "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment."  God has not given us fear; rather He has given us power, love and a sound mind.  He has given us power, the Greek word here is dunamis.  The same word used when Jesus rose from the dead!  He has given us power to accomplish all that He has willed us to accomplish.
He has given us love!  That love that is eternal and that casts out fear that can so paralyze us.  Love that empowers us to bless others, to love and pity our enemies.  Love to share Christ with the world.
And a sound mind.  I don't know about you, but most days I need this more than most of the gifts.  To me, this brings to mind the verse that talks about being a double minded
person, they are unstable in all their ways, (James 1:8).  To me, this is believing God one minute, doubting Him the next.  Living in faith one moment, fear and uncertainty the next.  The sound mind is disciplined.  Hm, that word sounds familiar.  Maybe from the same root word that disciple comes from.  So if we are disciples of Jesus, live according to His tenets, love according to His commandments; we will have a sound mind.  I love that.
So, think on these things the next time you doubt that you can get something for nothing.  That there is no such thing as a free lunch.  That you get what you pay for.  Remember that the greatest bounty we will ever receive was given to us generously and with the only restriction being that we say yes. 
So let me say that.  Yes, si, oui, ja, sim, ken, hai, ndiyo, shi, baleh, na'am, da.  I could go on, trying to say it in every language known to man, but I just want to say it with a truly grateful heart to the One who loves me more than anything and who has given me the greatest gifts I could ever ask for.
YES!!

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Sea Monkeys

6/26/2014

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When you were a kid did you ever see that ad for Sea Monkeys in the back of a comic book?  I remember seeing ads for those and for other novelty items all the time in comic books I read back in the day; like Archie and Jughead, Betty and Veronica.  I was always intrigued by those ads, wondering what those little things that looked like human sea creatures were.  But my parents would never buy them for me.  I remember the pictures looking like a little colony of people-like things, with crowns on them and in little families.  They looked so cute and friendly.  I guess I am glad now that I never got one.  I think I would have really been disappointed.  Turns out what they ended up being were just dehydrated brine shrimp eggs that when re-hydrated, became these little shrimp creatures.  No crowns, no smiles on their faces.  What a let down that must have been to so many little kids!
How often do we buy into the advertising only to be disappointed when the product actually appears?  More often than we think.  Buyers remorse is a real thing. 
I remember when I first got saved.  This was back in 1983.  Yes, that long ago!!  I was very new to the whole Pentacostal, charismatic church scene.  I had been brought up in a church that was pretty dry and thought of Jesus like a fairy tale, kind of like the Easter bunny or Santa Claus.  There was no life in the message every Sunday.  So when I accepted Jesus as my Lord I was so excited.  And being young and so excited to learn everything and anything about this whole faith thing, I guess I just took everything in as gospel, when it really wasn't.  I was buying Sea Monkeys.  Experience and seeking His word and listening to His Spirit has taught me so many things over the years. 
First of all, that being a Christian is not the Sunday picnic that I was promised.  I remember being told Sunday after Sunday that as long as I lived for the Lord, everything would work out, everything would be easy now.  And when it didn't work out that way, when there was sickness, financial problems, all I could do was blame myself.  I must have done something wrong, because hey, I'm living for Jesus so everything is supposed to be easy peasy.  Nowhere in the Bible are we given the promise that there are no longer any problems for those who serve the Lord.  Duh!  How many of His disciples were persecuted, hunted, murdered?  How often are trials and temptations mentioned?  What is said is that He will never leave us or forsake us.  That He will never give us more that we can, with His help bear.  He tells us that in our weakness, we are strong in Him.  In other words that trouble WILL come, but He is with us through it and He will give us strength and peace and joy to get us through to the other side.
Another box of Sea Monkeys that I bought into was that when I received Jesus as Lord and Saviour, all of the work was done.  I am redeemed, renewed.  A new creature in Him.  Yes, that is true.  But I am still a work in progress.  I am every day reading His word to learn new truths in how to live a Christ-like life.  I am every day seeking His Spirit to teach me, lead me, and yes, bring His conviction when I do wrong.  That word seems so harsh.  Conviction.  We think of prison garb and jail cells.  The word just means
the act of moving a person by argument or evidence to belief, agreement, consent, or a course of action; the act of convincing.  The Holy Spirit is convincing me every day of the right way to live.  The way to live that honors God and brings Him glory.  The Holy Spirit gives me new insight into God's character.  He teaches me the truth to combat the lies of the world.  He encourages me when my life seems to have gone awry, bringing scripture to mind to show me that God is still on the throne.  The Holy Spirit tells me that what I thought was a box of mini sea royalty is just a bunch of dried up fish bait.
The last box of Sea Monkeys I want to talk about is prayer.  I was taught in those early days of faith that God was a big slot machine.  Really, He is!!  If I put my coin of prayer in the slot of His will, my answer will be popping out like a fountain of coins any minute now.  This was a hard lesson to learn.  First that God is sovereign.  And second, that He knows the beginning from the end.  Far better than my puny mind can fathom.  He knows what I can bear.  He knows what will strengthen me into the person He fashioned me to be.  He knows the answer that is best for me.  My prayers are not an argument before the court of God to convince Him of what I need, or what others need.  My prayers should be causing me to get closer to Him.  And my prayers are not one way communications.  That old saying, "You have one mouth and two ears, so listen twice as much as you talk" applies here.  We should always know that we have the ability to speak to Him and the guarantee that He hears us.  But we should also know that He wants us to hear Him too.  And that hearing means being quiet in His presence.  Reading His word for truth to be made known to us.  Receiving the encouragement of other believers.  It means acknowledging that the answer might not be what we want, or the timing may not be what we expect.  I have had many prayers, some that I am still praying and believing for that have not been answered yet.  I have one prayer that I have been praying for for over a year that was literally just answered this week.  It is not my place to tell the maker of the universe when or how He should answer me.  I do have the right to make my petitions known, as it says in 1 John 5:14, 15.  That as we ask according to His will, he hears us.  That is another area that we mess up in.  Lots of time I ask according to Gail's will.  Come on, God...I really want this; I know this is best for me!  There are some prayers that I am glad now that the answer was no.  He truly has the best in mind for us.  Jeremiah 29:11, often quoted, but oh so rarely truly believed, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
So I think I will stay away from the ads in the backs of comic books.  That severed finger did not look real at all!!  But the whoopie cushion was lots of fun! 
I want the truth.  Even when it is a hard truth.  Because the truth will set me free and will help me to be less gullible next time.  Sea Monkeys are great as a novelty, but I want the reality of a life changed, a life lived for my Father, true royalty with a true crown.  A big God, not a shrimp.
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Rearview mirror

6/24/2014

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I have always been fascinated by those pictures that people take while in their cars.  The ones where you can see ahead of you and then either in the rearview or sideview mirror you can see what is behind; I think the first one I saw like that was of a beautiful forest view in front and a picturesque snow-capped mountain in the sideview mirror.  It fascinated me that you could see both views at once.  Most times we only have one view of things.  Most of us, as we are driving or walking or traveling the paths of this life see what is in front of us.  But what happens when we keep looking at what is in the past?
The thing is, physically we really don't usually do this.  Unless you are in a slasher movie and someone is chasing you and you keep looking behind you to see how close they are now.  But then how many of us are dumb enough to go into the creepy dark house on our own anyway?  Well, that's another story...
So we are traveling through life, living in the present, looking towards the future.  We are accomplishing the tasks of today.  Our jobs, our household responsibilities, studies, taking care of children.  All the while having a plan for what is to come.  A 6 month goal, 1 year, 5 years.  We are moving forward.  But too many of us want to keep looking into that rearview mirror.  I know I tend to do this too often.  We are all wired differently.  For my husband, his thing is counting.  Counting the lines on the highway, the tiles on a floor.  For me, it is ok, today it's Tuesday, 8:35 am...yesterday at this time, this is what I was doing.  Not even sure what the heck that is about, but I have always done that; or maybe a week ago, this is what I was doing.  Maybe it's a way for me to think of what I have actually accomplished, or of something fun I was able to do. But dwelling on the past too much can severely affect what we do now and in the future.  If I am dwelling on the past, I tend to get lost in those thoughts and it turns to daydreaming of a sort and I am pretty useless at that point.  And I think for most of us, the past things we think of are not the pleasant memories that give us joy, but the failures we have had, or the times we have been hurt or let down by others.  And then that gets into some really destructive thoughts.  Either of what a lousy person I am, or what a jerk that other person is.  There is a scripture in Phillipians 3:13 that says, "
Brethren, I count not myself yet to have laid hold: but one thing I do, forgetting the things which are behind, and stretching forward to the things which are before,".  I believe that Paul was not just talking about the bad things that had happened in his life.  The time when he was persecuting Christians, when he held the coats of those who stoned Stephen.  He was also thinking of all of the things that were good.  His accolades.  His accomplishments in study and life.  He laid all of those things down and put them behind him, because just like Paul Harvey used to say, there is the rest of the story.  Verse 14 in Phillipians 3 goes on to say, "
I press on toward the goal unto the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."  The reason we don't keep looking to, or living in the past is because we have an amazing 'present' here with God and an even more wonderful future coming.  I know what my failures are.  Believe me, I tend to be like a cow chewing on its cud, I take that unpleasant memory and don't just chew it, I masticate it until it is ground into oblivion.  And I know how I can be when I see someone who has hurt me or my family.  We have all been there.  We are in the grocery market, and here comes so-and-so, and oh, they were so nasty to us.  My blood pressure goes up, I remember all those things they said and did and I am thinking, I could just pick up a can of tomatoes and chuck it at their head!  Wait, did I just say that?  No, really instead I duck behind the cereal display and wait until they go past.  But when I look again, I realize it wasn't even that person, just a doppelganger that looked like them.  So I have wasted time and emotion on something that is dead and gone and worked myself up into a lather to boot. 
I want to more than anything learn how to be more Christ-like.  And that means putting the past behind and leaving it there.  Jesus himself did that.  When He was resurrected and returned to spend more time with the disciples, He didn't turn on Peter and say, you loser, you denied me, so here, duck this can of tomatoes!  No, rather He sought Peter out to bring healing to him and to others.  Our choices and actions today are what matter.  I want to choose today to be better than I was yesterday.  I want to choose today to believe God's word that yes, His mercies are new every morning.  New not just for me, but for others also.  
 
I want to live like I am running that race that Jesus set before me and accomplish what He has set before me.  I want to forget the hurtful things in the past.  I want to not rest on my laurels of those things that I accomplished back in the day.  Today is a new day.  Today is the only day I have promised to me.  So today I want to make the choices that honor God and bring glory to His name.  Today I want to live in the present.  To do what it says in 2 Timothy 4:2, be ready in season and out.  To encourage, speak His word, to love. 
The funny thing about looking in the rearview mirror while you are driving, you take your eyes off what is ahead of you.  And if you do look forward again, what is now in that mirror isn't even what you saw a second ago.  The scene changed.  Maybe minutely, but it did change.  Let's make the choice to live NOW.  To be present in this glorious life that God has given us.  Even in the moments of drudgery.  That mountain of laundry to finish.  That account that needs to be finished at work.  Helping the kids with their homework.  Do all things as unto the Lord.  Because each day is a gift that we should not take for granted.  A chance to live a life of thanks to the One who loves us more than we can imagine.  The chance to love others.  The chance to not live in the rearview mirror, but to be a mirror image of Him.
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Status Quo

6/22/2014

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We have been studying Romans in our bible study for the past few months.  Speaking of the freedom that we have received from Jesus' sacrifice on the cross.  He died ONCE for ALL and there is nothing left to be done but to receive that and to walk in it every day.  As humans we are all born with a sin nature, but because of that glorious moment on the cross, we no longer have to live in that; we are freed from our sin nature.  We are no longer under the restriction of sin, but free to live as a child of God. 
This got me thinking...in fact it kept me awake most of one night.  The phrase that kept coming to mind was 'status quo'.  How often have we used that phrase?  For me, quite a few times, but did I really know what it meant?  So I went and looked it up.  Status quo means, "the existing state of affairs".  For those of us who love learning new things, it is a Latin prepositional phrase, 'in statu quo', literally "in the state in which"; this is actually a shortening of the original phrase, 'in statu quo res erant ante bellum', meaning "in the state in which things were before the war".  And now my mind is off and running, no more sleep for me!  In prayer that night I was praying that I didn't want the status quo anymore.  Did not want the same ol', same ol'.  I want to overcome, be victorious in the life that Jesus has given me.  He won the war - that war with sin and death.  As we study Romans, we died to sin; that was our nature before the war.  We now have a new nature, a Christ-like nature, born of the Holy Spirit living in us.  We no longer have to live the status quo; we have overcome by His death and sacrifice.  I choose to live to Him daily as I have already died to sin through His death.  And thus, instead of living in defeat, I live in victory.  I live in the all the fruit of the Holy Spirit who resides in me (Galations 5:22); love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance.  It is my choice if I fall back into old patterns, because I am a new creation through Jesus - old things are passed away.  (Ephesians 2; 1-6), "And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.  But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus". This means we are FREE!  Do we really believe that the Word of God is true? This says we are no longer dead, but alive in Christ!  We are free!  John 8:36 says "Whom the Son sets free is free indeed".  We are not 'slightly bound', or just a 'tad shackled', the Word says we are free!  Let's live that way!  So every day I choose to believe God or to believe the lies of the enemy that says I am still a sinner.  When we resign ourselves to give in to the voice of the enemy we wrap ourselves in chains and carry a burden that Jesus freed us from!
So, we are free.  Ok whew, done and done.  Nothing more for me to do.  Right?  No!  We are free from our sin nature; now that is the foundation that God wants to build on.  He desires growth and maturity; for us to be moving forward towards the destiny that He has for us.  Yes we all slip, have bad days, whatever. 
"For they that are after the flesh mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. For the mind of the flesh is death; but the mind of the Spirit is life and peace: because the mind of the flesh is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can it be, and they that are in the flesh cannot please God.   But ye are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you. (Romans 8:5-9a). This is what the indwelling Holy Spirit is there for.  To teach, convict, correct.  "And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may be with you for ever, even the Spirit of truth: whom the world cannot receive; for it beholdeth him not, neither knoweth him: ye know him; for he abideth with you, and shall be in you.  But the Comforter, even the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said unto you." (John 14: 16, 17, 26.)  He helps keep us on course.  It is like a car heading towards your destination.  The GPS is programmed to get you from point A to point B, and it tells you when you make a detour or a wrong turn.  It gets a bit more insistent the farther off track you go.  That is what the voice of the Holy Spirit does - course correction when we get off track.  Setting us back on the right path.  Now when we are in that car and the GPS starts going off on us about how we are off the right course  we have a choice.  Listen or turn it off.  We can also, when we feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit get angry or offended or we can hit the first turn to get us back towards our final destination. 
The thing is, we are not here on this earth for just our own good pleasure.  Yes, certainly God wants us to be joyful, fulfilled, content.  But our true purpose here is to advance the kingdom of heaven.  There is a story I love that pictures this. Late one stormy night as lightning flashed and thunder crashed,  a small voice was heard from the bedroom across the hall. “Mommy, I’m scared!” Mom responds sympathetically “Honey, don’t be afraid, I’m right across the hall.” After a short time, with thunder reverberating through the house, the little voice says again, “I’m still scared!” Mom replies, “You don’t need to be afraid. Close your eyes and pray. And remember that Jesus is always with you.” The next time the pause is longer … but the voice returns along with a little child standing next to her bed, “Mommy, can I get in bed with you and Daddy?” As Mom is just about to lose her patience, her little boy catches her eyes and says, “Mommy, I know that Jesus is always with me, but right now I need Jesus with skin on.”  We are here to be Jesus with skin on to a lost and dying world.  To see souls saved, to share the love of God, to see lives restored.  In a sense, part of a machine whose job is to do the work of God while we are here.  When a piece of machinery get a glitch, or breaks or malfunctions, it does not rail against the operator when it has to be taken apart for repairs or maintenance.  It gets dismantled, repaired, lubed, checked over for a clean bill of health, so to speak and then put back into service.  Why then do we get so upset and frustrated when the Holy Spirit works to get us in optimal operating condition.  After all, we invited Him into our lives, correct?  We all need tweaks, and sometimes major renovations, but instead of railing at the Master, why don't we rejoice?  I read a story the other day about a lady talking about going to the gym.  She had gotten out of the habit of working out, so signed up with a skilled trainer.  She goes in and that first day was pretty easy, just getting things working again.  After a few times training, she feels like she is going to pass out, throw up, have a stroke, maybe all of the above.  But a month or two into the regime she feels good.  Strong.  Better than she has in a long time.  Now she could have quit when the workout got tough.  When she felt physically ill from it.  But she trusted that the trainer that SHE chose knew what she was doing.  That the trainer could see her potential, see past her self imposed limitations and take her to the next level.  It is like that with God.  We choose to surrender ourselves to Him.  Now let's trust Him to take us to the next level!  Let's realize how important we are to Him and to His plan.  Let's rejoice in the knowledge that we are a valuable and intrinsic part of His plan for this world and mankind.  That we are His children; free from our sin nature, free from fear.  "For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.  For ye received not the spirit of bondage again unto fear; but ye received the spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.  The Spirit himself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are children of God". (Romans 8: 14-16)
Let's move past the status quo and into a life filled with richness and reward!

If you have a moment, read these lyrics by Big Daddy Weave.  They










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Blow me a kiss

6/19/2014

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Yesterday my son had my granddaughter here for a time.  We had a good visit, she wandered in and out of bible study and then went outside with her dad.  After the last person left the bible study I cleaned up and then got ready to head in for a bath.  As my son was leaving, my granddaughter ran up to the closed door and yelled, "Nana, I'm leaving!  I'm blowing you a kiss and a hug!"  I yelled back, "Mmm, got it!  Here's one for you too!". 
Do you ever feel like God and heaven are so far away, that there is no hearing God, there is no chance of really seeing heaven, nice pie in the sky dream?  Let me tell you, God is as close to you as my granddaughter was to me; there was just a door between us.  Jesus tells us in Mark 10:15, "I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn't receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it."  My granddaughter had the faith that I was not only on the other side of that door, but that I would hear her when she called.  I believe my heavenly Father is just on the other side of a door; that door is called death.  Death is just the opening of that doorway into heaven and then we are with our Father.  Faith is the walk that takes us up to that door, and then leads us through it.  Faith that yes, Jesus died on the cross for our sins.  That he was buried and rose again, and sits on the right hand of the Father, forever interceding for us.  Faith that He is always with us.  Faith that His Spirit resides in us.  Faith that this life here is but a vapor and that He has prepared a place for us with Him in the heavenlies.  Faith that I hear His voice every day; in reading His word.  In hearing His Spirit speak to my innermost being; leading and teaching and correcting.  In seeing His handiwork as I see the beauty He has created in nature.  The trees and flowers and mountains. The night sky with its myriad of stars putting on a light show just for me.  The joy in a child's face.  The life experience shown in the wrinkles of an elderly person. 
Faith like a child.  I have that faith.  I know that my Father is there, and not only that I hear Him, but that He hears me.  He hears my prayers, my joyful worship and praise.  He hears my inner groanings that cannot even be put into words.  He sees my laughter and my tears.  And even better than just hearing, He cares!  He loves me more than I can ever comprehend.  He created me for His good purpose, and He delights over me with singing (Zeph. 3:17).  He gives me hope and grace and mercy.  He has made me promises that He will keep.  He has loved me with an everlasting love.  He is my peace and my salvation.  And He is waiting for me just on the other side of that door.  And He is not alone there.  My loved ones who have gone before me are there.  Rooting me on to good works and to the day that I shall be with them forever.  Many is the time that my heart hurts for missing my mom and dad.  I shed a tear, but then I always ask Jesus, please give mom and dad a hug and tell them I love and miss them.  I believe that just like my granddaughter blew me that kiss and hug through that door last night, my parents get their kisses and hugs through that door.  They are truly only a heart beat away...and oh, the day that I see them again.  What rejoicing there will be.  In the presence of our heavenly Father, all because He loved us so much that He provided a way for us to Him...through that door!
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Just an old tube of toothpaste...

6/17/2014

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What an odd title...wouldn't you say? An old tube of toothpaste, ready to throw away. Or is it? I don't know about you, but there have been more times than I like to remember when money was tighter than tight. When we had to go to social services in town and get help paying our electric bill, or stand in line for a food box and hope that all of the produce wasn't rotten. So, through all of that I learned how to be frugal. I can stretch a pound of hamburger to feed 5 for three nights. I don't necessarily have to anymore but that becomes engrained in you after awhile. I have met many who have lived through the depression who will never live through anything that rough again, but still live with that mentality.
I still have that thriftiness inside of me. I can get every last drop out of the detergent bottle. Cut open the lotion tube and get it cleaner than a whistle with nothing left inside. Take a toothpick and get all of that lipstick out of the container. And yes, get that toothpaste tube squeezed so flat that there isn't even air left in it. After all, you didn't really pay for the container, did you? You spent good money on the toothpaste that came IN the tube, not just for the tube itself. What are you going to do with that empty tube? Hang it on the wall as art? Ok, I have to admit, in some parts of society, that might just be considered art...just saying.
So back to that thought on toothpaste. You spent your hard earned money on the toothpaste so that you can keep your teeth clean, have a shiny smile and be able to go out there and earn more money to buy more toothpaste. There was a cost for that toothpaste. So you use it up. For me, as I said before, to the last hhaaaarrrrdddd squeeze worth, and then throw that tube away.
Take a moment to think of your life. The bible says we are just strangers here on earth. Sojourners, awaiting our time to go home. We live in this vessel we call a body. We go to work, or to school, or we are retired, or whatever. We live out our lives, then what happens with us after we are returned to our heavenly home that our Father has prepared for us? (John 14:2) These fragile vessels don't go with us, they are cast aside, hopefully fulfilling the purpose that they were intended for. Just like that toothpaste tube.
But, here in lies the rub...what was inside of our vessel was purchased with a price. A costly price that not one of us here on earth could possibly pay. The cost was the life of our Saviour, Jesus. He willingly laid down His life for us, that we might live a victorious, fulfilled life here on earth before we return to Him. He didn't just pay for the vessel, He paid for the soul and spirit inside of us. He paid for the disposable part of us, as well as the eternal part of us.
Think about that tube of toothpaste. It took some squeezing to get that last little glob out. It took pressure. I am sure an engineer or someone smarter than I could tell you how many pounds per square inch it takes to (big word alert) extrude that toothpaste out. I don't just give it a little squish here and say, ok all done. I probably stick my tongue out as I am squeezing and rolling that tube up tighter than tight to feel that I have gotten the most for my money.
I want to live my life in this frail vessel like I use that tube of toothpaste. I want to know that the price that was paid for me was not wasted. I want to live to the fullest, to quit being afraid. To let the pressure of life, the hard times (that God promised He would be with me through) mold me and make me into the woman He destined me to be. I want to say at the end of my life, God you used me all up, every last drop...and then I will hear from Him, "well done, good and faithful servant".
I talked about frugality before. The one thing I don't want to be frugal with is the life that He has gifted me with. All of it. The laughter, the tears. The joy, the sorrow. The life and the death. The love that He has placed inside of me. ALL of it comes from Him, can be used by Him and returns to Him. Don't be afraid of it. Embrace it and the One who gave it to you. Because unlike that useless old used up tube of toothpaste, YOU are a work of art. The handiwork of the Maker of the universe. The craftsmanship of the Creator of all things. The apple of His eye. The One who love you abundantly and boundlessly; as it says in Zephaniah 3:17 "
The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by his love; He will exult over you with loud singing."
Picture that the next time things are hard. When you feel all used up and disposable...remember He EXULTS over you with singing!! And to Him you are priceless!
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Happy Father's Day?

6/15/2014

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I have always approached father's day with mixed emotions.  I lost my dad in 2000.  It was so hard losing him to cancer.  I guess the word to describe our relationship is something that you see on all the social media these days...complicated.  He was my hero when I was small.  He was a homicide detective.  Big and handsome.  And unfortunately, an alcoholic.  Most of my childhood memories of him are when he was drunk, and either a laughing jokester or an angry man.  But I loved him.  I still have some very fond memories of him when I was under 10.  Of taking me to police department picnic and helping me win a ginormous watermelon in some game, and then letting me decide to carry it all by myself and then of course dropping it in the middle of the parking lot!  Or of helping me learn to swim.  But my later memories of him were much darker.  After he retired from the LAPD he had way too much time on his hands and became bored.  So it was golf in the morning then home drinking until he passed out most nights.  My adolescence and teenage years were extremely difficult.  Father's day was usually a disappointment for all involved. 
It wasn't until I had married, had children and given my life to Christ that I had some compassion and empathy for my dad.  I remember the first time of visiting him from where we lived in Ca and getting ready to head back home.  Kind of choking up and not wanting to say goodbye.  Giving him a big awkward hug, that he was even less used to than I was.  It was strange, but felt right.  He was not a physical man, never hugged, kissed me or told me he was proud of me.  But after that visit, if I got up to leave without hugging him, he would track me down for one.  Our relationship changed.  Not because he changed, but because I did.  I had a heart to see his heartbreaks.  To see his disappointments and failures and look past them and be grateful for the dad that God had given to me.  Yes, given.  My dad was a gift.  For all his faults and failings, he was my dad.  I had finally grown enough to realize how much he did love me even though he never showed it for years.
I think father's day for most of us is painful in some way.  We either had a man who was a poor father, or maybe one who just wasn't emotionally available, or for me now, my dad is no longer here.  I thank God that I had the chance to let my dad know before he died how much I loved him.  That I was able to share my faith in God with him, and in the last moments of his life, to see him lift his arms to his heavenly Father and enter into his loving arms the moment he left mine.
God is a god of redemption.  God redeemed me, then redeemed my relationship with my dad, and then redeemed his heart.  I am glad, that even though the truth of the matter is that my dad was most of the time a failure as a dad, I could see that truth and with the love of God, accept him as he was and love us both into being better people.  None of us is perfect.  None but God, and He is such a God of love that He wants us to become better, and to take others with us on that journey.  It is not easy.  Most good things never are.  It took work and tears and disappointments to bring me to the place of loving my dad, warts and all.  And then to extend to him the same forgiveness that Jesus extended to me.
I am so grateful for that.  And that I know that one day I will see my dad again.  I will be able to rejoice with him in heaven with our Heavenly Father and know that is was all part of a plan.  Maybe not even so much for my dad, but a plan to grow me up, to turn me into a strong compassionate woman who can love people unconditionally.  I know there are times I still fail, but as long as most of my momentum is forward, then I feel I am doing what I am supposed to.  First love God, then be able to love myself and accept His love and forgiveness, and then extend that love and forgiveness to others; whether I feel they deserve it or not.  Oh, please know how great the reward is when we become more Christ-like.  For us and for all those we come in contact with!!


Picture
My handsome dad!

I hope that you will take time to read the tribute I wrote to my dad a few years before he
A Tribute to my Dad
Some say that you were a hard-nosed cop, others called you "ol' mean eyes", but I just knew you as my Dad, who loved me.
My Dad: you taught me to swim, and you carried me in to a warm bath the day that I was 'brave' enough to dive into a freezing pool before my brother did.
My Dad: who took us camping, and taught me to fish. You roasted sunflower seeds in a frying pan for me. And carried me back from the store the time I stubbed my toe at Three Rivers.
My Dad: who took me trick-or-treating. You always made sure that I was safe, and that my bag was full when I came home.
My Dad: who, when I was a child, was my hero. You put your life on the line, "to protect and to serve", but no matter how busy you were, you brought me food from McDonald's if I was home sick.
My Dad: as a teenager, I forgot sometimes how much I loved you. And sometimes I forgot to respect you - and I apologize for that. It is not that you were any less special...I was. I was self-centered and forgot that parents are human too. Not always perfect, but always worthy of being honored. I'm sorry, Dad for the times that I hurt you.
Some moments during my teen years were painful. I was shy and withdrawn, and it was hard for me to make friends. I feel like I not only withdrew from the world, but from you and Mom, also. I lost that closeness that we had when I was a child, and was too insensitive to miss it.
But, as I grew older, and started making my own decisions, you may not have agreed with me, but you did stand behind me. And when my first marriage fell apart - I know now how much you must have hurt. And how much more it hurt when I didn't choose to come home. Then, when I felt lost and was broke in the big city, my Dad came and rescued me. But, I still didn't thank you, and I am sorry for that, and if I ever did anything to hurt the honor of the name Koivu.
Then I met a man that I knew I would marry the first time I spoke with him. And again, you supported my decision. I think that you even liked him!
Now, I am a mother of three, and living what sometime seems like a million miles away. And I miss my Dad. We went through some rough times, and you were always there for us. At a time when your 'little girl' was hurt, you were there, and when God put my marriage back together - you loved Jim as much as you always did. I respect you so much for that.
God has done so much in my life - He took a shy, overweight girl who was scared to death of crowds and turned her into a confident woman. But the best thing that He did was to let me be a little girl again, at least in my heart. A little girl who thinks the world of her Dad. One who loves him so much and is thankful to God for repairing all the damage wrought by an unthinking teenager.
I love you Dad, and I thank God every day of my life. You will always be my hero!
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Yes, I am 'just me'

6/12/2014

2 Comments

 
Whew!  Finally figured out that 'saved' and published are not the same thing!!!  Thinking about it, that is kind of like our walk with Christ.  We can make all the grandiose plans that we want, go through it a thousand times in our heads how we are going to do better, be kinder; but until we actually put feet to our thoughts, it is all nothing.  I am so happy that you decided to read my blog.  Never thought I would have one.  Had always 'thought' (kind of like what I said above) that I would write a book or something for publication, but never put my fingers to the keyboard to actually get the words on paper.  So much for all that wasted time.  I always felt that I had to be something more, be someone more.  Someone more learned, more accomplished, more whatever.  But I finally realized I am just me...but I am just the me that God created, and even better than that; I am that Gail, redeemed!!  Oh what a glorious thought!  That I am on my way to becoming the Gail that He created me to be.  Praying everyday to become more Christ-like.  I have dealt with low self-esteem issues my whole life.  Feeling that I never measured up...not realizing that the only standard I have to measure up to is the one that God has, and His delight is to help me to live up that.  What a gift we are given when we receive Jesus as our Lord and Saviour.  What a gift to know that we don't have to give in to that sin nature that we are born with, but because of His sacrifice, we can live to Him every day. 
I have realized that I am stronger than I think I am.  That the times that I feel weak and inefficient are the times that I am not living in the fullness of what the Lord has for me.  I never would have thought that I would have been able to care for a parent who had a massive stroke and continuous health problems for three years.  But as I sought the Lord day by day, I realized what a gift it was to care for my mom.  That the past that had been so rough was redeemed in the daily act of caring for her; changing diapers, feeding, listening in the middle of the night for her to stir.  I sit here in tears, thankful for a God who gets us past our inadequacies, pushes us farther than we think we can go.  Because He knows what we are made of.  We are the stuff of divine miracles.  The children of the one true God.  The apple of His eye.
Just think of that for a few minutes when you are feeling insufficient.
So, thank you for dropping by.  I hope that you will find encouragement here.  I know that that is one of the things the Lord has called me to do.  We all need that from time to time, don't we?  Probably more often than we would like to admit.  So if you find anything here that blesses you, please take a moment and let me know.  Or if you have a criticism, let me know that also.  I am hoping that through this I will also grow, go from glory to glory as it were. 

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