I had no real hope that things would change back then. Maybe when I graduated and left school. Maybe if I went to college or got married. Would that change it all??
I came to realize years later that all those circumstances could change, but if I didn't, well, I was still right there. It was I who had to change. My mindset, my outlook.
And that did change. Somewhere around 1983 I gave my heart, mind, body, soul and spirit to the Lord. That is when things started to change, because I was changed. From the inside out.
I had a hope for peace. 2 Timothy 1:7 says this, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love and of a sound mind." All those things that I had struggled with before; fear, doubt, confusion, thinking I wasn't loved or loveable...all that went away with His entering my life and His Spirit filling me.
I had a hope for my future...Jeremiah 29:11 spells that out clearly. "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans for welfare and not calamity, to give you a future and a hope". I no longer have to worry about what tomorrow will bring, because I know who holds my future and who holds me.
I won't lie and say that I get this trust thing right all the time. I recently went through a cancer scare again. Tests, more tests and then the waiting. Days where I felt scared and uncertain. But I was never uncertain of His love for me or that He would be with me regardless of what I was going through. That is what got me through, with prayers and some tears and just holding on to what I believe in.
So what I have come to learn is that the cup really isn't half empty or half full, but guess what?? It is refillable! As long as I look to Him, trust His love for me and keep my heart and mind focused on His promises, I can't fail. Lamentations 3:21-23 says, "This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. The Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning."
One of the most quoted of scriptures is the 23rd Psalm. It is such a beautiful picture of the Lord and His care for us...read these words and meditate on them. "The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. He maketh me lie down in green pastures, He leadeth me beside still waters. He restoreth my soul; He leadeth me in the path's of righteousness for His name's sake. Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil; for thou art with me, thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table for me in the presence of mine enemies; thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over." (Verses 1-5)
So, when you are having a day of half full cup-itis, remember that your cup is not only refillable, but it runs over! We cannot contain all that the Lord has for us. That will take a lifetime for us to try to understand, and we still won't. But blessedly, we will have eternity to ponder it all.