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Matter of perspective

6/26/2018

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I'm sitting here thinking of when I was a child.  There were a lot of rough times.  Scary, uncertain situations.  Moments when I was unsure of my future, unsure even of the present.  Having parents who were themselves messed up, using alcohol as a medication.  It is far too easy for people to blame their parents for their own failures, their own shortcomings.  It is easy to do that when all that is focused on are the bad things, the damaging things.  But in all of life, there are bright spots also.  There is always something good that can be remembered, a shining moment in the darkness.
I remember going camping and while hiking from the swimming hole back to our camper stubbing my toe as my flip flop disintegrated and ripping half my nail off.  But I also remember on that trip the old man who lived a couple of spots over cutting open the watermelon he grew in a little patch.  Sweet, warm melon with salt on it.  Juices running my chin, my hands sticky.  I remember hundreds of earwigs crawling around by the camper, but I also remember the cool refreshing swims on those hot summer days.  It's all a matter of perspective.  Where do we let our mind go to?  Glass half empty or half full?  I often joke that I see it half empty and someone spit in it.  I do tend to go towards the morose, but the older I get the more I am trying to dwell on those things that bring a smile to my face.  As the bible says in Philipians 4:8, "Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse." (MSG)
My handsome dad.  I certainly remember all the times he drank far too much; far too often.  I am sure trying to wipe away the memories of all the evil that he saw mankind do to one another.  But when I look back I also remember the dad who took me trick or treating when I was young.  The dad who showed me how to change the oil in his old MG, saying he was giving it a drink.  The dad who took an old parachute and built me a tent in the front yard.  As I get up there in years, I linger more on the thoughts that make me happy.  That man had his own demons he was fighting, and as I get older and have a greater overview I see him for the complete man he was, not the man I wish he had been. 
My beautiful mom.  Oh she was so pretty and yet so broken.  As a child how do you see that?  How do you see that the person you so love and admire is damaged and just trying to do the best that they can?  They say hindsight is 20/20.  How true.  I wish I could have seen them then as I see them now.  Every rose has it's thorn, but that does not dispel it's beauty.  I recently found some letters that my mom had written my dad when she was just married, and then just pregnant with me.  She had so many fears, so many doubts.  She wanted so badly to be a good mother, but feared that she wouldn't be.  She doubted her abilities, saw only her frailties.  I wish I could go back in time and let her know how much she was loved by God.  That He saw it all and loved her still.  There is a song out by Natalie Grant called 'Clean'.  Some of the lyrics go like this...
"I see shattered
You see whole
I see broken
But You see beautiful
And You're helping me to believe
You're restoring me piece by piece"
What does God see?  Does He see the ugly, the dirty, the mess?  No, He sees the beautiful, the glorious, the whole.  He doesn't dwell on our shortcomings, on our lack.  He doesn't focus the spotlight on our faults and our deficiencies.  He sees our potential, He sees what is inside waiting to burst forth.  He sees what He created us to be and what sin has corrupted.  He sees that sin washed away and a lovely child of God standing before Him.  Oh child of God, don't just see the dirt and the filth.  Don't just focus on the damaged and the destroyed.  Don't look at what the enemy has used to harm you, to try to break you.  Look up!  Look at the God who created you, who loves
you.  Look at the Saviour who gave His all that you might be seen as forgiven, not as some sinful wretch.  Look at all the beautiful gifts you have been given.  Fill your minds with these things...
The sun shining
The birds singing
The flowers blooming
The rain coming
The children laughing
The music playing
The Father loving
The Son sacrificing
The Spirit filling



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Numbers game

6/20/2018

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Hard to believe but I have been writing this blog for over 4 years now, over 200 posts.  That's amazing.  I spent so many years just thinking about writing.  Procrastinating about writing; I am the queen of procrastination...But here I am gratefully being faithful to the gift and calling that God has placed on my life.  When I first started writing it I would check the stats every day or so.  Oooh, how many readers today.  Then it got to be all about the numbers and not about the purpose of it all; to bring glory and honor to God.  Why does everything have to be about the numbers?  Oh, I struggle with that.  I think a lot of it comes from not having been the popular girl.  I could count my friends on one hand, minus a few fingers.  I was not in the in crowd.  But I think to some extent we all feel that.  How many friends do I have on Facebook.  How many followers on Instagram.  How many likes did I get?   It's a never ending quest for validation.  But think about it, the same person who liked your post liked the post about the dog that sounded like it said 'I love you'.  Now that's discriminating taste!
My point is, in searching for the confirmation from the crowd, we forget that we are only to be concerned with pleasing One.  Oh, you might get a thumbs up from Susie for your recipe for sauerkraut consomme and even a big red heart from Joe for your picture of your cat stuck in a box, but at the end of the day they don't change your life.  Susie and Joe and all your other oh-so-close and intimate friends on social media haven't given you anything everlasting.  They may give you a haha, or a wink or even a sad face but they have not and cannot given you salvation.  They may share your post about armadillos playing with a beach ball, but they don't share your every pain and exult in your every joy.  So much in this life is illusory; especially on the internet.  Those 322 friends you have, at the end of the day most likely won't be coming through for you in the clutch.  And when you post what's really important to you, they probably just scroll right past to get to the interesting, amusing things like cats jumping when they see a cucumber on the floor or that piece of toast with Oprah's face on it. 
We have forgotten that it is all about quality, not quantity.  It is about the authentic and genuine, not the cheap knock off.  We search high and low for something to occupy our time.  We seek endlessly for affirmation.  We are always on the hunt for the next best thing, forgetting that it is already ours.  When we have said 'yes' to Jesus we really and truly have all that we need.  We have salvation; the forgiveness for all our sins, paid for by Jesus.  We have the hope of eternal life.  We have the assurance of help in our times of need.  We have a father that rejoices over us with singing.  We have light in the midst of darkness and peace in the midst of turmoil. 
All of that and a real relationship with our Father, with Jesus and with the Holy Spirit.  Why do we settle for what is ephemeral instead of what is true and lasting?  Why do we get the tingles when our 'like' count went up to 99 but don't bother to rejoice in the rising of the sun?  We have a Father that delights in us.  We have a Saviour who no longer calls us servant, but calls us friend; and He will never unfriend us in a hissy fit.  We have a Holy Spirit who comforts us, who knows us past our superficial shares and re-tweets.  We have Him who is the All-in-all. 
Today take a break from all the insipid posts and tweets and pinterest recipes.  Take time to smell the roses, after all they were hand-made for your pleasure and you don't have to pay for them on Etsy.  Take a moment to hear the music of the wind in the trees rather than listen to that guy playing 'Old McDonald' in his armpit.  Sit a spell with your eyes closed and just breathe in the presence of Him who formed you and who loves you.  Rest in Him today; give your eyes a break, give your scrolling thumb some respite.  Today abide in what is true and trustworthy, not in fake news and click bait.  Today linger in His peace and joy.  If this is a numbers game, then the only thing that really adds up is the Lord and His genuine and certain love for you.

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Spread thin

6/13/2018

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I think I need a Lord of the Rings movie marathon.  I am feeling down and tired.  Worn and weary.  As Bilbo said, “I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.”  I am afraid this blog may not be my usual post.  Ha, even as I write that I am sure that by the end of it I will be uplifted and hopefully you will be also.  I do know who God is, and I do know who I am in Him.  I am just tired out.  Yes, it has been a bit of a difficult year with my health, and I am still dealing with a couple of things.  And for some reason, maybe because of the health issues, I just feel so much older this year.  I am second guessing all that I am doing and have done.  Have I made any impact on anyone?  What ministry is ahead of me?  As I enter the second half of my life what is in store for me?
I am sure that God understands our being weary.  There is no biblical imperative against being weary.  But there is a charge to not grow weary in doing well. (Galations 6:9 and 2 Thessalonians 3:13)  You look at the life of Jesus and you know that He knows weary.  Being in the wilderness for 40 days.  Fasting and being tempted and tried by Satan.  All of the ministry He did and He didn't have an Uber at His beck and call to get Him back and forth.  It was walking or rowing a boat for Him.  The emotional and spiritual exhaustion in the garden of Gethsemane.  The brutal physical abuse He took before the crucifixion.  And then hanging on that cross.  Bloody, beaten, exhausted.  Ok, yeah after writing that, I am feeling better about where I am today.  Seriously what can I go through that would even come close to all of that?  What can I go through that will cause the physical and emotional pain that could compare to that?  And the spiritual separation from His Father, His God?  Nope, it will never happen.  So, my heart, take courage; it is well with my soul.
Courage.  Defined as the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery.  Sixteen times the bible tells us to be of good courage.  How can we be of good courage?  Honestly, how can we not?  Romans 8:31, " If God be for us, who can be against us?"  Then the scriptures go on to tell us this, "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."  That means that NOTHING can separate us from His love, then nothing can separate us from His grace, His peace, His strength.  Nothing can take all of His spiritual blessings away from us.  But there is a caveat.  That love, those blessings are ours in Christ Jesus.  He first must be our Saviour, but also our Lord.  Acts 17:28, "In Him we live and move and have our being." 
If I am in Him I have all that I need for daily living; all that I need for life.  I have strength when I am weak, rest when I am weary.  I have everything in Him.  "
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ", Ephesians 1:3.  And we have those spiritual blessings, they are not some pie in the sky idea. "But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;) And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus: That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus," Ephesians 2:4-7.  In ages to come.  Today, tomorrow, next month, next year.  He shows the exceeding riches of His grace to us.  Goes back to the fact that nothing can separate us from His love towards us, in Christ Jesus.  So today when I am weary His love is just as strong for me as when I may be feeling on top of the world.  Tomorrow if I am in distress, His grace is sufficient for me.  Next week if my world seems to fall apart, He is there to take me through it; He allows me to go through nothing that He cannot take me through.  "Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again--my Savior and my God!" Psalm 43:5, (NIV). 
Yes there are days when I am weak and weary, discouraged and discombobulated.  There are days when I am tired and torn, sad and seemingly inconsolable.  But the day that God is not on the throne?  That day will never arrive.  The day that the Lord turns His back on me?  Nope, not gonna happen.  The day when He finally says He is tired of my shenanigans?  Sorry devil; He loves me with an unending love.  Sorry self, He loves you no matter how petulant you are.  No matter how much self-pity you are wallowing in.  Sorry.  Not sorry.
See, I told you that by the end of this post we would both be feeling better.  How can I not?  How can you not?  The Lord of the universe.  The God of all creation loves me.  Loves you with an everlasting, unending, never-failing love.  Even when we fail.  When we give up and give in He never does.  Oh, my soul be strong and of good courage.  "Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee," Deuteronomy 31:6.  No matter how much bread, He always provides more than enough butter.

All scripture KJV unless otherwise noted.

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Indescribable God

6/5/2018

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You are incomprehensible, with fathoms too deep to perceive
Yet You are always available, from Your presence I can never leave
Father, brother, friend; comforter, teacher and lover of my soul
You lead me, guide me, equip me and make me altogether whole

You are all that I need, my all sufficient God
Your divine love, grace and mercy I will continually laud
Before I knew you, ever acknowledged Your love
You had formed me, loved me, provided a home for me above

I am struck by Your beauty, it pierces my very heart
To have You always hold me close, to know we'll never be apart
Me a sinner, bought and paid for by Your sacrificial blood
Gratitude and thankfulness flow through me, rushing like a flood

To have a father who cherishes me, a brother by my side
A friend who will never leave me; You are the groom, I the bride
I am no longer an orphan, no longer in solitude alone
You have given me everything; Your love, Your heart my home.

In You alone I rest; safe, secure, protected
By nothing but what You allow will I be affected
Naught can harm me; no trial, no sword nor fiery dart
None can injure me; my soul cries 'How great Thou art!'

Oh how I love thee Lord, my heart it doth sing
Joy permeates my spirit, all of my cares take wing
You are my all, my totality, my completion
All that I live for, all that I am; You are the reason

Though I can never fully apprehend all that You are
All my days I will seek You; You are close, never far
You are my father, my heart, my world, my reality
In Your arms, because of Your love, I will always be


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