Just Me, Redeemed
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September 25th, 2014

9/25/2014

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One of my favorite movies. I guess it's the kind you either love or you hate. My husband hates it!  So I always have to say to him when there isn't anything to watch on tv, "Hey, I do have the Breakfast Club recorded!" His look could wither an artificial plant. I recorded it off one of the tv channels because all the cursing is removed; only thing I don't like about the movie.
Anyway, the farther away I get from high school the more I appreciate the movie.  At the time it was all so serious and so hard.  I don't think I ever really fit in anywhere.  I certainly wasn't athletic, was not confident enough or pretty enough to be a cheerleader, too afraid of the authorities-that-be to do anything really bad.  I did get very good grades but never went out for any clubs or anything.  I guess I was kind of invisible.  I remember a few other students who were like that also, but we never became friends.  I really was a loner and never really did have any close friends.  Not as drastic as Allison in the movie, but a loner and alone just the same, ignored as she said.  I do remember a girl in school who was like Allison.  Different and shunned, strange and distant.  I wish I knew then what I know now and could say to her, it's going to be ok, you are valuable.  But I was afraid and kept my head down in the hallways and bolted right after classes.  Too afraid to reach out or let anyone reach me.  One of the lines in the movie that really stands out is when Claire is giving Allison a makeover.  Allison asks why Claire is being so nice to her and Claire's answer is, "because you're letting me". 
Somewhere deep down we are all afraid.  We are all broken.  We are all hurting.  As the jock in the movie, Andrew says, "All of us are bizarre, some of us are just better at hiding it." We all want to know we belong.  Deep down we all have that desire to fit in somewhere.  We all want to know that somebody loves us.
I don't know that I ever really knew that back then.  Home life was a wreck.  The only thing I knew about 'love' was to give myself away to anyone who would have me so I would feel wanted, at least for a little while.  I felt I had no value, no worth so drinking and drugs became a way to kill those thoughts; again, at least for a little while.
I never found true worth until I found the One who truly loved me, warts and all.  I felt like the woman in the bible caught in adultery.  The religious leaders bring her before Jesus, probably only half dressed.  Their plan is to shame her. And she stands there with her head down the whole time.  It is only when Jesus says to her "Woman, where are your accusers?", that she realizes they are gone.  Or to look at it another way, we all sin and fall short of the glory of God, so who are we to accuse anyone?  We all are lost until we are found.  We all lack in some way until we meet the One who fills every void.  All we have to do is believe.  Believe He is the Son of God.  Believe that He was born of virgin, lived a sinless life, died on cross for our sins and rose from the dead and ascended to the Father.  Let's see, my sin and shame and worthlessness on one side of the scale and Jesus on the other with His love and righteousness waiting for me.  Easy choice.
At the end of the movie Brian is talked into writing the essay for all of them.  He says, "You see us as you want to see us - in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions.  But we found out that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basket case, and a princess, and a criminal.  Does that answer your question?  Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club".
Yes we are all those things.  Broken, hurt, arrogant, lonely, afraid, combative.  We are all the Breakfast Club.  But Jesus came to not only serve us breakfast, but to prepare us a feast.  All we have to do is accept the invitation.
So people can see us as they want to see us.  But because of the blood of Christ, we are not just a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal - we were also redeemed.

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Just breathe

9/15/2014

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The hustle and rush of everyday life,
morning's mad dash gives way to a blur;
is this really all there is,
what, as a child held so much allure?
I hurry through the day
from first cup of coffee to last yawn at night,
it all becomes indistinct
just a shade of gray nothing now bright.
But now I realize the cause of my dilemma
it is poor vision, a problem with my eyes.
I need to look to God and His beauty
on this alone my joy relies.
To see the world around me in a whole new light;
the flowers, the trees, the sunshine,
to see the birds take flight.
To raise my face to heaven, my spirit to His align.
I drink in His refreshing
His love for me abounds
as I close my eyes
and just listen to the sounds.
The sounds of quiet, the sounds of rest.
The sounds bring peace flooding into my heart.
I take a deep breathe
and again, of Him I feel a part.
This is the day the Lord has made,
the day designed for me
to seek Him and to know Him
and then at peace I'll be.
This I have learned and will truly attest
this adult life of scurry and haste
becomes a beautiful thing
if of His goodness we will just taste.





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Me and my shadow...

9/7/2014

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It is funny watching a child the first time they are aware of their shadow.  They are usually amazed at this gray spot that can follow their movements and seemingly mimic their actions.  Pretty soon though they all just take for granted that their shadow is following them and don't seem to pay much attention to them any longer. 
In J.M. Barries' writing of Peter Pan he tells how Peter loses his shadow while visiting the Darling's home.  And of his subsequent frantic attempt to reattach it using a bar of soap. Finally Wendy reattaches it by sewing it on.
In the physical world we never lose our shadows.  We obviously don't see them when the sun isn't shining, but they didn't somehow become unattached from us.
As children we are first fascinated by our shadows.  As adults we sometimes forget they exist.  In our busy lives we ignore the dark gray spots that follow after us everywhere we go.
We also have other shadows that follow us everywhere we go.  Gray spots that like ink darken our souls.  Memories of things past that seem to insidiously slink after us forevermore.  Damage done by dysfunction in the family.  Sexual or physical abuse.  Alcoholic parents.  Unkind words said to us.  The list goes on and on.  These shadows follow us.  Rain or shine.  Light or dark.  Even when we are seemingly unaware of them, the shadows are there.
Unlike Peter Pan, our shadows don't somehow just become detached.  We do not just magically lose them.  We cannot make ourselves happy enough to make them disappear.  We cannot analyze them away.  There is only one way to take away the power of our shadows.  That is to let the light of the Savior take away their effect on you.  It would seem counter intuitive that light would make our shadows ineffectual, at least in the physical world.  Here light just makes our shadows stand out more.  When we walk in the power of the light of Jesus' love and healing power, shadows no longer have any influence on us. 
Peter Pan's shadow didn't really have any power over him.  It is not until later adaptations that the 'shadow' had any kind of malevolent dominion.  Our shadows of things past are the same.  They really have no power over us.  The power that they have are because the enemy of your soul wants you to think that you are no better than what has happened to you, what was said about you, what you yourself perceive about yourself.  That those shadows will follow you, haunt you for the rest of your life.  That you can never escape them.
Well in a sense that is true.  There is no magic wand that can erase the things that have happened in our past.  The abuse did happen.  The molestation did occur.  Those hurtful words were spoken.  But when we become children of God and realize who and what we are in Him, those things lose their power.  They become a mere shadow of what they were.  When we KNOW that we were formed in our mother's womb, that we were known before the beginning of time, that His desires for us are for our good, then we can let those things that are in the past stay in the past.
I have shared a few of the things that happened to me in my childhood.  Things that had an effect on me for years.  And truthfully, some days I have to consciously remind myself that they no longer define me.  That my position as a child of God now defines me.  That what was done to me does not form who I am at the core.  That at the core of me is the One who says that I am the apple of His eye.  That He loves me with an everlasting love.  
Psalm 139:17 says "How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!"  And His thoughts of us are for our good! 
When we realize our position in His kingdom, we then can know that the shadows of our past do not dictate our lives any longer.  They do not have the authority to, upon our rising in the morning tell us how our day is going to go.  They do not have the hold that they once did.  Instead of the light emphasizing the shadows, the Light takes their power away.  That Light burns through the shadows, like the sun burning the fog away and shows us the truth.  The truth that we are more than conquerors, that we are victorious, that we are loved.  The only shadow that I want to stay under is the one mentioned in Psalm 17:7-8, "Show me the wonders of your great love, you who save by your right hand
those who take refuge in you from their foes.  Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings".
So, as for me and my shadow, yes we will be strolling down the avenue, but as my companion I will have the One True Light, whose brightness burns up even the darkest of shadows!
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Gritty and Glorious

9/1/2014

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The King of Glory.  The Son of God.  The bright and morning star.  The Alpha and Omega.  Just a few of the names for our Savior.  The Jews were expecting a King to come and deliver them from all of the pain and suffering that they were going through.  Strong and mighty, a glorious ruler riding in on a white horse.
What came instead was a squirming messy, bloody baby.  A baby!  And born in a barn. You can bet that there were no OSHA inspectors making sure the place was spic and span.  No Good Housekeeping seal of approval on that manger.  No five star rating on that address.  Instead of a magnificent monarch coming in splendor and pomp and circumstance; He was born in a stall, that as much as they may tried to tidy up, was still filled with the detritus of numerous animals.  The dust, the dirt, the smell.
Unto us was born a baby.  A king.  Gritty and Glorious.
The King who was supposed to come with great heraldry came instead in the most ordinary of ways.  Through the birth canal.  Of a virgin teenager.  And the proclamation of His birth was not announced to the high and mighty upstanding citizens of the time, but to sweaty, grimy lowly shepherds.  By a band of angels, resplendent in their heavenly garb.  Gritty and Glorious.
This same Jesus, born in poverty and living as a fugitive was the Son of the One True God.  He came to give freedom to the captives.  Sight to the blind.  Life to the dead.  And forgiveness of sins to all who would receive Him.
The free gift of life everlasting, the redemption that only the Spotless Lamb could give.  These gifts He brought to a people who were living in a cesspool of sin.  He willingly divested Himself of every heavenly right that He had.  He chose to take off His garments of royalty and take on our earthly form and freely gave Himself up for our sakes.  Gritty and Glorious.
What seemed to be a dichotomy Jesus seemlessly made into one.  What looked to be oxymoronic and contradictory Jesus reconciled.  A King coming as a baby.  God becoming human.  Appearing as an ordinary carpenter but having all the attributes of God.  Strong and mighty, weak and lowly.  Gritty and Glorious.
And all of this done for our benefit.  God reaching down from a majestic heaven to touch those residing in decay and seediness.  That by accepting His gratuitous sacrifice we could one day dwell with Him in heaven.
And He still reaches down to us.  After having died an unimaginably painful death; beaten, abused, tortured for us, He now intercedes for us.  He sees our weaknesses.  He knows our faults.  He understands our shortcomings.  He sees the spiritual dirt underneath our fingernails.  He knows that like a dog, we sometimes return to our vomit.  But He also knows that grace covers all things.  That our sins were forgiven, once for all.  That though we may stumble, though we may fall, though we may roll around in the mud and slime occasionally, His love for us will see us through.  That though we may find ourselves off track, His love will guide us home.  That we will truly 'taste and see that the Lord is good'.  That we will rise up out of the grit and choose to walk in His glory, here and now.  This earthly attire we live in, inhabited by the Spirit of God.  Gritty and Glorious.
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