What do I see?
Darkness; safe, comforting, and warm
Soon, into a new Man to be born
And then, oh that moment when Light doth appear
And the angels chorus sounds in My ear

What do I see?
I see a mother exhausted, and so very young
To this place by My Father she has been brung
Though weary and worn, through faith alone
Trust in her God she has so sweetly shown

What do I see?
A man, questioning and uncertain,
but the Lord had said, "See, I have pulled back the curtain"
"I show you the future, My plan for mankind,
In this little Baby, hope you will find"

What do I see?
I see shepherds and magi, as diverse as can be
Yet all, upon seeing this Child, bending their knee
Worship and honor to their God they doth bring
Glory and praises to Me they doth sing

What do I see?
I see My disciple come to Me with a smile
Betrayal has been in his heart for more than awhile
He gives Me a kiss, the embrace of a friend
and then takes those thirty pieces of silver in the end

What do I see?
I see Pilate, a pawn of devil and man
Used to pronounce My end; do they really think they can?
I see My blood, I feel My flesh tear
They expect Me to wither under the force of their glare

What do I see?
I see that cross, I feel the strain of it's weight
Gladly I surrender, as I have freely chosen this fate
To lay down My life, to take up their sin
So that through Me they can choose to have peace within

What do I see?
Darkness; painful, fearsome and cold
Oh Father, this is more terrible than I thought to behold
But suffer I will, and all with one thought
That You would be glorified and their salvation be bought

What do I see?
The earth heaving and quaking, the veil being rent
For Me no legion of angels being sent
My life I surrender, their future is won
As I cry out to You, Father it is done

What do I see?
I see Your glorious plan, Your wonderful design
Your children reconciled to You, their Father divine
No longer servant, but now brother and friend
My birth, My death, all to this end

What do I see?
I see their love, their gratitude and joy
With lifted hands and their tongues they employ
Praise to their Father, worship to Me Your Son,
That You in Me and I in them we may all be one.

​

Christmas is almost here.  All around, the hustle and bustle of gift buying, company parties, meal planning.  It is so easy to forget what this season is really all about.  And then you stop and listen.  I love Christmas music.  I used to have a Michael W. Smith cassette (yes, I'm that old) that I played year round.  I hear that music and it slows the pace down, it gets me focused again on what we're really celebrating.  I think that two of my favorites are 'Mary did you know' and 'Breath of heaven (Mary's song)'.  It so touches my heart and my spirit thinking of this girl, chosen to carry the Son of God.  Chosen as a vessel for the Most Holy.  Hand picked by God for this incredible honor, to carry this most precious burden.  I weep as I think of the emotions flooding through her.  Joy, elation, amazement.  Fear, uncertainty, doubt.  All of this, because an angel appeared to her and spoke to her of a heavenly appointment.  All of this because of the love of God for her and for mankind.
And then I think of the fact that she was not the only one whispered to in a moment of doubt and fear, uncertainty and wonder.  All those emotions competing, along with amazement and joy, elation and astonishment.  I experienced those emotions.  I believe every child of God at that moment of wooing from the Holy Spirit, that moment of surrender to the love of God feels all of those sentiments and more.  We wonder, is this really true?  Have you really chosen me?  Will I carry the fullness of your Spirit in me?  How can you love me?  Doubt and desire.  Fear and faith.  All of these swirling through us, until we stop and listen.  We hear that still small voice speak to us of a heavenly appointment.  It has been appointed that here and now we are His.  We are a child of the Most High God.  And suddenly, we not only hear it, we know it.  Relief, and elation; rejoicing and exultation.  Tears and laughter.  
I know who I was before Christ.  I'm reading a book by Jared C. Wilson right now called "Unparalleled".  It is about Christianity's uniqueness and how that makes it compelling in a world of counterfeits.  In a chapter titled Broken Mirrors he speaks of how "we are broken, wonderful, sacred creatures.  And we are sinful, broken, disobedient rebels."  He then goes on to quote "But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved."  And how if we really look at ourselves that often 'we are worse than we think we are, but that we are more loved than we know'.  He goes on to say, "It is the reason that Christians tuned in to the freedom found in Christ are so often remarkably confident while at the same time remarkably humble.  They feel in their bones that they are both deeply broken people and deeply loved people.  This kind of thinking must have a profound effect on us."
Certainly one thing Jesus has done is have a profound effect on me.  I was a selfish, often unkind jerk before coming to Christ, but I didn't really know that.  And now after Christ, I am sometimes selfish, unkind and a jerk but I am aware of it and and grieves me.  I am grieved that I, a child of God, a sacred mirror of Him am, forgive my crude words, often a craphead.  But where before I was unaware and uncaring, I am now repentant and strive to be a better representation of my God.  I often have very honest conversations with Him.  I apologize for my behavior and know that He forgives me for my crapheadedness.  And that He loves me even in my crapheadedness.  That nothing, neither life nor death, angels or rulers, things present or things to come, nor powers nor height nor depth, nor my crapheadedness can separate me from the love of God. (Gail's version of Romans 8:38-39)
All humor aside, and believe me God must have a sense of humor to love me unconditionally; I am so grateful and thankful that He chose me.  He knew, He knows and He will forever know who and what I am.  And to Him, because of the blood of His Son, I am always a child of God.  And that is why when I listen to Christmas music, when I think of all He has done I just want to worship Him.  I want to make sure that He knows how much I love Him.  How filled with gratitude I am that He loved me before I knew Him.  That He formed me with care and affection to become a Christ follower.  I believe He waited with baited breath for that moment that I said "Yes" and then He and the angels threw a party to celebrate.  
Oh, here I am again, crying.  I am so glad you cannot see me right now.  Tears flowing, as well as snot.  So not glamorous.  But He doesn't care about that.  His heart is a heart that just wants His child to love Him.  What joy and delight He takes in that.  Some who don't know Him say that He must be like a puppet master or that we are robots with no free will.  Created to be His minions.  They don't know the bible and they don't know my God.  He is a father with arms open just waiting for His child to run into them.  He is like that father in the maternity room, waiting for that baby to pop out, to finally hold His child.  He is that dad that takes his child to the first day of school and waits until they enter the classroom and then blinks rapidly as the tears come.  He is that parent whose child has been away and is coming home for the holidays.  He listens for the car and then rushes to the door to let him enter.  That is my God.  That is the God of the bible.  That is the God who came one Christmas in human form, a helpless baby.  Born from God's love to die because of God's love.  For me, for you.

Quotes from Unparalled by Jared C. Wilson pages 98, 109, 110

I don't know about you, but I just hear that title and I can hear the theme music in my head.  I remember watching that show when I was about 11 or 12.  It was a pretty risque show for that time, showing short clips about love and romance, with love always triumphing.  Often funny, sometimes touching it was an entertaining show that portrayed the loose morals of the era.  How did the media then and even now portray love?  It is mostly performance based, tit-for-tat 'I love you' because you are good to me, take care of me, etc.  Love is fickle.  Love is here today, gone tomorrow...just look at the divorce rates, even in the church.  Love is just an emotion that I may feel right now, but if you disappoint me, hey I may be out the door.  Love is great if I'm happy, feeling fulfilled and satisfied.  Love is an experience, it's what I deserve, it's my right.  Love is all about fireworks and good times and me!
I know I have thought all of those things.  I have experienced feeling loved, I have experienced feeling the loss of love and feeling like no one would ever love me at all.  Love has been a commodity, it has been a bargaining chip and it has been a reward.  It has been a wonderful emotional feeling, it has been a let down, it has been an elusive thing to grasp.  That is because love has always felt like something I had to work for, that I had to earn, that I had to strive for.  And I have always felt like I come up lacking.  I was never good enough, I was never smart enough, or pretty enough.  I couldn't do enough good to be loved the way I wanted to truly be loved.  I could never accomplish enough to deserve a love that would change my life.
I felt that way for years.  Even after I came to salvation in Jesus, I felt that I had to do something to make Him love me.  I had to pray more, I had to read the bible more or be a nicer person.  I heard sermons that said that if I screwed up that God would be so disappointed in me, I had better 'do better' so that He would love me.  I felt that I never measured up.  I had better be up at the altar every Sunday asking forgiveness again or I just wasn't truly a child of God.  But oh, how wrong I was.  How can a love that is given freely in the first place ever be earned?  How can a Father who would give His only Son to show us that love ever place restrictions on us?  He never said be a good person and I will love you.  He never said maybe if you work really hard I will show you that you are loved.  He, from the beginning had a plan in motion that would open the windows of heaven and would pour out His love on us.  
Do you remember a time that you were in a relationship with someone and you truly felt loved?  A time when you felt cherished and adored and just always had this big stupid grin on your face because you just felt wonderful?  Can you remember looking at your spouse as you were getting married and feeling so amazed that you were chosen to be his or hers?  Can you remember looking at your child for the first time and feeling this overwhelming burst of joy that you couldn't even put into words?  Roll all of that up into one big ball, add a sprinkle of grace and peace and magnify that by infinity and you may just begin to comprehend how cherished, how treasured you are.  He not only loves you to the moon and back, but He loves you to the cross and back.
I think if we truly grasped how much God loves us, our lives would change.  Imagine walking through the day knowing someone esteems you.  Not just when you do them a favor, not just when you perform well, but every minute of every day.  To know that you are foremost in their thoughts.  You are thought of with affection and intention.  You don't just happen to cross their minds every once in awhile, you are center in their thoughts.  You are the cream in their coffee, the icing on their cake.  You are the be all and end all.  You are all that and more to God.  Look at these scriptures to just get a small clue...
“Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them!” “Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.” Matthew 10:29-31
“Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.” Matthew 10:29-31
“Just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will …” Ephesians 1:4-5
​“Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
“For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39
"The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness." Jeremiah 31:3
“But you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love…” Nehemiah 9:17
“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!”  1 John 3:1
“This is how God showed his love among us:  He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.  This is love:  not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.  Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. ”  1 John 4:9-11
“In all these things, we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death or life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  Romans 8:37-39
“‘Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,’ says the Lord, who has compassion on you.”  Isaiah 54:10
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”  John 3:16
Can you remember getting a love letter from someone?  Or maybe in these overly tech days, a love text?  Just something saying, you are special to me.  The whole of the bible, the whole of creation speaks of God's love for us.  Those scriptures above are only a tiny portion of verses speaking of His love, His adoration for us.  
I challenge you to take time to dig into the Word.  I challenge you to take a moment each day and just ponder God and His love.  I ask that you really begin to believe that you are cherished, that you are treasured, that you are truly a delight to God.  I ask that you start to believe that you are not just like that kid chosen last for the team because well, somebody has to take you; but that you were chosen first and chosen with intention and forethought.  That you were not only picked, but you are the star player, that you are the cream of the crop, that you are the apple of His eye.  Because you truly are.  Now start living like it!