It is one of those rare occasions where I have no idea what I am going to write today. I have been really struggling lately. I always try to write things that are uplifting and encouraging and today that is what I need.
There are just some times when a person feels worn out, a little blue and in need of something that maybe they cannot even verbalize. Today is one of those days for me. I know I am not the only person who feels this way either. It is hard to pick yourself up and get back into the fray when you are not even sure what is holding you back. I can blame fatigue, stress, hormones, but that doesn't help matters. I am tired. I do tend to get too stressed. And hormonal changes are a fact of life right now (sorry guys!). And pulling myself up by my bootstraps is what I should do, but what I want to do is hibernate for a few day under the covers and not deal with anything.
So here is how my mind works...I write that phrase, pulling myself up by my own bootstraps and then I wonder, where did that phrase come from. So of course I go and look it up. Now this is interesting, and maybe the whole reason I am writing this post today. The origin of that phrase is unknown, but it means to improve your situation by your own efforts. But it also has a meaning in the computer world...Some early computers used a process called bootstrapping which alludes to this phrase. This involved loading a small amount of code which was then used to progressively load more complex code until the machine was ready for use. This led to the use of the term 'booting' to mean starting up a computer.
Interesting. First of all, I know that there are some things I can do to improve my own situation. I can pray. I can talk to a friend and vent. I can begin to make some changes in my lifestyle to improve how I am feeling and go from there. Yes, there is all that. Or I can do what the other meaning of that phrase points to and input a small amount of code until a more complex code gets me ready for use. That code is the word of God. I know from past experience that I have bad days. I know there are times when I feel hopeless and helpless, and not even for any valid reason. I know that I can also wallow in that. Or I can do what I know helps...I can get into the Bible and receive encouragement. I can get a little bit of that life spoken into my spirit and wait for more revelation to come to get me ready to go out and function again. I know that God's word is life and truth and hope. I know that when I spend time in His word that I will receive what I need to refresh me. That I will receive comfort, inspiration and confidence to move forward.
I know that when I feel out of sorts and everything in me wants to do as I said above and hide in a cocoon of blankets, that is not what is best for me. What is best for me is seeking God's best for me. What is best for me is building up my faith. Reassuring myself that this too shall pass. That each new day has a promise built into it by my Father. That as I build my faith as it says in Romans 10:17, "Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God"; that I will look upward instead of inward and be consoled.
I know that the purpose of my life is to do my Father's will. And I know that I can get in the way of that.
I had a hard life lesson quite some years ago. This was when Jim and I were separated. I had just gone through a very emotionally draining experience and I was starting to get angry about it. Something that I had not caused and felt I did not deserve. As I was driving away in that moment of anger, I heard that still small voice of God speaking to me. I heard Him ask me if in that moment of anger, whether it was justified or not, was I in a place where I could be used by Him. And I had to admit, that no I was not. I was in a place of 'self'. I needed to remember that there was a reason I was put on this earth and it wasn't for myself and my own wants and desires. It was to fulfill His plan for me and to be available to do His will at any time. Regardless of how I 'felt' at the moment.
So, I guess God's purpose was done here today. Releasing my emotions to Him, seeking His peace and comfort in His word, and just maybe doing His will for today and writing this post. It helped me feel better. I hope it encourages you. We all have 'off' days. We all have doubts. We all wish some prayers could be answered quicker. But as we input His word into our spirit and let our faith and hope grow, something amazing happens. It increases. Our faith grows stronger. Our hope surges and our desire to put 'self' in its place escalates.
Next time you are having a less than stellar day, remember that phrase. Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps. Remember that yes there are steps you can take. Prayer, encouragement from a friend. But also remember to input His word. And as that little bit speaks to you, it will bring further revelation. It will cause your faith to soar. It will allow you to get out of your own way, and to get into His way. That loading the basic software of His word is like pushing the reset button; when it restarts then the other software will load as needed. Faith, hope, strength, comfort, reassurance, direction, wisdom...all that and more as you reboot according to the instruction manuel; His word.