I think we all go through this at some time in our lives. Hopefully it is just a transitory feeling. The mundane seems to take over. The color scheme for your life is beige. The temperature is tepid. And you are just tired of doing 'you'. Honestly I am having one of those days today. I am tired, and tired of being sick and wishing for a long vacation that I know I will never get. A trip to Ireland or Italy will most likely never be in the cards for me. Some days this seems like this is all there is. Work and feeling exhausted and wanting more than anything not to feel like I am taken for granted.
I want you to hear something. You matter. What you do matter. Who, and whose you are matter. You may feel today like you are some meaningless blob of existence. No worth, no prospects, no hope of a future that looks anything different than today and yesterday and the day before. But there is more, because YOU are more. You are more than your job, you are more than your mistakes, you are more that what people say you are. You are the Lord's and He says in Jeremiah 29:11, "I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." (MSG) God has plans for you, plans that He preordained before you were ever conceived by your parents. Plans prepared before the beginning of time. You are not a mistake, you are not an 'uh-oh', you are not some bothersome piece of junk just here by accident.
I love to write; I guess you can tell that by now. What I really enjoy is writing poems. Putting words together in a specific and well-crafted way to convey something of beauty. I think poems are harder than writing my regular posts just for that very reason. I love words, the sound of words, the way they work together to bring a picture in my mind to life. You really can't just throw together a poem. It takes a knowledge of words, and sounds and skill to complete what hopefully will stand the test of time. Poems written hundreds of years ago still have a lasting impact on us. They can be beautiful and thought-provoking and cause you to experience a gamut of emotion. They are created through time and effort.
Read Ephesians 2:10 in the Message, "For we are His workmanship [His own master work, a work of art], created in Christ Jesus [reborn from above—spiritually transformed, renewed, ready to be used] for good works, which God prepared [for us] beforehand [taking paths which He set], so that we would walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us]." We are hand-crafted. We are lovingly and thoughtfully created. We are His workmanship. We are not some slipshod thing thrown together. We are not 'seconds' bound for the Dollar Store. We are His workmanship; He had a specific blueprint in mind for each one of us. Unique, distinct, cherished, adored. When we look at that word for workmanship, in the Greek it is poiēma, which comes from the same word that we get 'poem' from.
You are a poem written by the God of the universe. Written by the One who formed the stars, created the Milky Way, designed something as beautiful as a rose, as delicate as a butterfly and something as majestic as a stallion. You are His poem, written to be shown to the world. Written as a love sonnet, filled with words and syllables conveying how much He treasures you.
Truthfully, today I don't feel like a poem. I feel like something scribbled on a scrap of brown paper bag that has made it's way into the trash can with the wet coffee grounds and banana peels. Nothing to treasure there. But, I am more than my feelings. I am more that what I perceive. My feelings and my perceptions have failed me before and they will fail me again. I am only human. No, wait. I am more than that. I am a blood bought child of the Most High God. I am kin to Jesus. I am filled with the Holy Spirit. I am me, but I am more. I don't have to trust my feelings; I trust the God who said His thoughts for me are good. I trust the God who said in Psalms 139:16,17 “Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them!” I am a poem written in His book! And I am not your average roses are red poem. I am an epic poem. A poem filled with love and adventure. Life and death, trials and triumphs. Soaring highs and lows like as Death Valley's elevation. Laughter and tears, joy and sorrow. I am a poem written by God because He loves me.
He loves me when I am lovable. He loves me when I am a stinking jerk. He loves me when I feel great and He loves me when I feel less than. He loves me, so that means I matter. I matter because I have said yes to salvation through His Son and I have been adopted into the family of God. I matter, no matter what I do for a living, no matter how educated I am, no matter how much or how little money I have. I matter because I am His and He says I matter. As I write that I think of when I was a little kid and someone would brag about their dad. "Well my dad does such and such". And I always said, "well my dad is better than your dad, he is a Detective!!". Ha, well, my Father says I matter and He is the greatest, so take that stupid sub-par thoughts and lack of self-esteem. I may never be famous. I may never go on that trip to Ireland I so want to go on. I may never get a good night's sleep. I may never write a poem that is published. But that doesn't matter. I AM a poem that has been published; in fact my name is written in the Lamb's book of Life and that is better than any publishing company that I know. And it can never be lost or stolen or erased. After all, He wrote it in bright red, indelible ink.