For more years than I can count I have dealt with a low self-image and lack of self-worth. I'm sure it started when I was very young and just got worse as I got older. Being overweight for most of my younger years did not help, nor did the comments that other kids made. Gym class was a nightmare for me; being shy and insecure and unattractive as well made me a target for some of those girls in the locker room. As I have grown older I have taken measures to present myself in a different way, but sometimes those voices play over and over in my head. There are days when as I leave the house, I hear those words from that insurance commercial in my head, but instead they say, "she looks hideous". And that is all it takes to send me back in time to those thoughtless teenagers and their judgmental words.
It is hard on our own to get past those words that are on an endless loop in our heads. It takes the power of the love of Jesus to do that. To realize that no matter what anyone else thinks, that even no matter what we ourselves think, He values us. He thinks we are worthy. He thinks we are beautiful. And to Him we are His beloved.
My value as a person does not come from my own merits. It does not even come just because of my accomplishments or achievements. It comes because I have been chosen. It comes whether I am overweight or thin. Whether I have the right clothes or shop at the thrift store. It even comes whether or not others see me as valuable. It comes because His is the last word and His last word says that I am of infinite value to Him. I have been chosen. I have been called. I have been set apart.
We have to get to the point where we are able to turn off that soundtrack in our head and instead listen to the words of our Father. The words that say He formed us in our mother's womb. That He knew us before the foundation of the world. That we are fearfully and wonderfully made. That does not sound hideous. The word hideous means appalling, awful, disgusting, dreadful. The only thing hideous here is the lie that we listen to. The lie that says we can never measure up. That we are not good enough. That no one loves us. Even the lie that says He doesn't care and does not hear us when we cry out in our pain and hurt.
The point of that insurance commercial was that the agent was available at all hours, any time we need them. That is a nice thought, but I am so grateful that truly, the God of the universe, the Creator of all is never unavailable. He is always as close as a prayer. He is nearer than my heartbeat, because He is my heartbeat. He hears my thoughts before the words leave my mouth. He knows me and loves me, warts and all. He has given me value just by that fact that I am His. He counts me worthy because His son took my sins upon the cross and died for me. He loved me even before I said yes to Him and will continue to love me until I one day see Him face to face in heaven. The Bible says that we see through a glass darkly now, but one day we will see Him face to face. That gives me hope and joy. It is like some days my mirror is dirty, I cannot see myself clearly, I see my flaws, whether real or imagined. But I know that He sees me clearly. And He loves me dearly. And He has given me a new mirror to look into...the mirror of His eyes.