There was a book that came out a few years ago titled "All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten". I never read the book, but I can tell you that all I really need to know can be summed up in the 1950's song sung by Doris Day, 'Que sera sera'. Rough translation, what will be will be. If you have read any of my other posts you will know that I have confessed to being a worrier. If there were Olympic games in that category I would be a gold medal winner. Maybe part of it is due to my personality, and I am sure much of it is the uncertainty that I grew up with. Never sure one day to the next what would be going on in my home, how my parents would be, what the day would hold. Worry, dread, foreboding; all firmly ensconced in my wheelhouse.
Anxiety was my default setting. Waking up with my stomach twisted in knots and going to bed with migraines. Drinking and doing drugs to try to drown out some of the apprehension and unease but never quite getting away from it. Never really feeling at rest or rested and always having this niggling sense of fear. What an awful way to live, or should I say to exist. In those day all I ever needed to know was in my head. My sense of failure, of never belonging, of being less than anyone else that I knew. Of being labeled the daughter of alcoholics and then becoming one myself. Of being called trouble and crazy and someone you don't want to get involved with. Of being called cheap and a slut. So yes, all that I needed to know I could access in that catalog inside my head. Unloved and unlovable, forever and ever amen.
But as Paul Harvey used to say, "and now the rest of the story". Thank God literally that that was not the end of the story. It was only the jumping off point. There came a day that I met the One who would not only love me, but who would love me as I was, even if I never changed. The One who would reach down and take hold of me and never let me go. Jesus; Lord, Saviour, friend, eternal love.
So at 21 years of age I met Jesus and He would change my life. I wish I could say all the fear, doubt and anxiety were washed away in a moment, but they weren't. Yes I was changed, I was no longer looking to drugs and drink or anything else to drown out the voices in my head. But I still had that picture of a pathetic little girl in my head who was always passed by, who was always overlooked. I have mentioned this story before, but it bears telling again. Just a short time after coming to salvation I had a dream or a vision, I cannot tell you which it was; all I can say it was real and it changed my life. I saw Jesus walking through a town, and there were many, many people all around. All clamoring for His recognition, all in one way or another demanding His attention. I felt small and useless and unimportant. Again, my default setting in life. I remember seeing myself crouching down in an almost fetal position, making myself as small as I could. Then I sensed a shadow fall over me. I didn't dare to look up. Then wonder of wonders, I felt arms go around me and I was just held. Never in my life had I felt such safety, such security, such comfort. Such all-encompassing, unconditional love. I felt whole for the first time in my life. I felt the anxiety and dread just melt away. I felt that no matter what the future had in store, that I had Someone who would never leave me, never push me aside.
As I began to grow in the Lord, in my trust of Him, and to grow in the knowledge of the Word I began to stand on the promises that I found in the Bible. Promises that I still stand on today. Promises like in Jeremiah 29:11, "'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope,'" (NASB). He knows my future, He sees the beginning and the end and He holds it all in His hands. Not only does He know us and our future, but He looks to support us. "For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him," 2 Chronicles 16:9 (NIV). He promises rest in the midst of all this life has to throw at us, ""Come to me, all of you who are weary and loaded down with burdens, and I will give you rest," Matthew 11:28 (ISV). Even when we get caught up in all the minutiae, the stresses of life threatening to drag us down He knows our weakness and has an answer for us. In Isaiah 40:29-31, He had the same answer for them in the Old Testament that He still has for us today because He is the same yesterday, today and forever; "Why would you ever complain, O Jacob, or whine, Israel, saying, “God has lost track of me. He doesn’t care what happens to me”? Don’t you know anything? Haven’t you been listening? God doesn’t come and go. God lasts. He’s Creator of all you can see or imagine. He doesn’t get tired out, doesn’t pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out. He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts. For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall. But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don’t get tired, they walk and don’t lag behind," (The MSG).
He sees, He knows, He loves, He understands. Hebrews 4:15 in the Message tells us, "Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help." All we have to do is say yes to Him. Yes to His sacrifice, yes to His love, yes to His Lordship. Yes to saying goodbye to fear and doubt. Yes to saying that no matter what the future seems to hold, He holds us. Yes to believing that He sees the beginning and the end, that His plans for us are good and that His love is everlasting. He will never leave us or forsake us. In the times we live in with financial uncertainty, health problems, social unrest, hatred and anger abounding, who holds our future? We don't, our pastors don't, our politicians don't, even our president doesn't. Only One does and that is God and because He loves us He sent not only Jesus for our salvation, but He sent the Holy Spirit to be our comfort here on earth. Just as Jesus told His disciples in John 14:27, " “I’m telling you these things while I’m still living with you. The Friend, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send at my request, will make everything plain to you. He will remind you of all the things I have told you. I’m leaving you well and whole. That’s my parting gift to you. Peace. I don’t leave you the way you’re used to being left—feeling abandoned, bereft. So don’t be upset. Don’t be distraught," (The MSG).
So while most of us have forgotten what we learned in kindergarten, when we go through trials and tribulations and sometimes what can be chalked up to just plain life, remember these lyrics,
'Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
What will be, will be'
But then go one step further and remember these lyrics also from the 1950's
'I know who holds the future
And He'll guide me with His hand
With God things don't just happen
Everything by Him is planned
So as I face tomorrow
With it's problems large and small
I'll trust the God of miracles
Give to Him my all'
Lyrics to' Que sera sera' from metrolyrics.com
Lyrics to 'I know who holds the future' from smallchurchmusic.com